I’ve taken a bit of a break from the podcast app i’m making (Which i might have a name for now) to catch up on podcasts, play some games and stuff. Played a bit of minecraft on the official unofficial StephenPlays server. Don’t know what that means? Check out the video:
So if you want to play some minecraft with me, you can jump in!
The other game i’m playing, and the thing that sparked this blog post, is Pokémon. I’ve played it for about 2 hours or so, and am already loving it. Being able to customize your character’s looks is huge to me, and i’ll tell you why.
Back when i was younger, i used to escape into the world of pokémon. Everyone needs a break from the monotony of life sometimes, but for me, there was more to it. The version i played the most was Pokémon crystal, which was the first game to let you play as a female character. Back then, it was just what i needed to fulfill the urges of being a woman.
Now, playing generation 6, i can say that it feels good to live in normalcy once again. That’s the feeling i get. And it was just what i needed. As of this blog post, i’m still living in a complicated limbo between going full time and staying in “guy mode”. So many you can understand that even small things such as an RPG can mean so much to a trans woman.
A fellow trans woman is making a video game, i just found it. Couple that together with this article: http://penny-arcade.com/report/article/video-games-showed-me-who-i-could-be-transgender-gamers-share-their-stories
I couldn’t find her twitter, sadly. But at least i can show you her work. It looks to be a pretty interesting title.
The article goes into the game she’s making, some clarifications on definitions and best of all, some transgender gamers stories. I highly recommend reading the entire article, to learn a little more about transsexuals and videogames (Very little of the article focuses on the negative, which is a huge refresher). A lot of it applies to me, and i’m sure a lot of my transsexual readers. And for those you want to know a little more about why gender in videogames matter to us, then please!
Oh, and if you would, please support her kickstarter! ^w^
I woke up to this bombshell today: http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/1bpbp0/im_glad_microsofts_creative_director_cares_about/
Source: https://twitter.com/adam_orth?protected_redirect=true (Of course, like a douche bag, he decided to go private. But in the unlikely event that he goes back to public, it should be linked)
There are two reasons why i want to comment on this. One is because i want to spread that message in whichever way i can. Second is because i need to sit down with you all, to tell you something important about this situation.
I doubt someone who’s managed to garner this much public backlash would have a future in a videogame company for years to come, so i think we can all rest assured that this guy’s gonna get what’s coming to him (Or at least that’s what i hope).
But i think we as consumers need to take it a step beyond the controversy, and start voting with our money.
Plain and simple, if microsoft decides to go through with the “always on” bullshit, don’t buy anything from them (Or at the very least, no more xboxes) until they change it. I mean, we saw this fail completely with sim city, and Diablo 3. Those two titles got a lot of negative publicity because of always online DRM.. People obviously don’t want to have a “always on” system anywhere. For three reasons:
- One — it’s a headache and huge inconvenience for people who actually pay.
- Second — it doesn’t work. Ever. At all. Never has. Never will. So it feels like companies are screwing us over for no good reason.
- Third — Not everyone has access to a stable internet connection, and just because you do, that doesn’t mean everyone else does.
So show me that you mean it, people. Buy a PS4 or a PS3 to show microsoft that we will not accept this. Show everyone that good can come out of money being power every once in a while. And if you’re going to complain and buy a new xbox, then stop complaining. You revoke any rights to the moment you give them money. So i don’t want to hear it from people like you.
Yeah.. You sons of bitches!
I go on pennyarcade a little now and then to check out the extra credits guys. Pretty sure i’ve recommended them in the past. To put it briefly, for those not in the know, they’re a group of three people (One of them being a professional videogame designer) who make videos about various subjects as they relate to videogames (For the most part, sometimes, they out right make political videos, mailbag videos, etc). It ranges from things such as psychology (Skinner box and videogames, the uncanny valley and videogames) and culture (Violent videogames, sexism in videogames), and so much more.
Sometimes, i do have a lot of concessions to the things that they say there. Like the episode about politics, which in my opinion, was too liberally slanted. But i’m not here to write about that, i’m here to write about their latest videos. A two-parter about videogames and religion.
Just to maybe quell the fire that these videos has produced, i want to point out that they clearly stated in the first two minutes of the first video that it’s by no means the best way to look at the subject of religion in videogames. It’s just how they view it, and i think for the most part, they’re well on the right track.
Like their first point, about lore in videogames. I can’t really find any issues here what so ever. Mythology is pretty fucking awesome, and it does resonate with us, all these stories that has survived so many years of human history. The Illiad, the various stories in the bibile
The Quran which mentions Jesus a lot. So many cool things, really. And if games would just expand on the religious lore some more, i think we would see some pretty awesome stories. I mean, why leave out that part of fiction, just because some people believe some of it to be true? Take it for what it is, and make a great game around it, i say. And not just in the shallow way that would, like they say in the video, only provoke tangential learning. But in a more meaningful way. Wish i could point to a great example, but i think they’re right in saying that there really isn’t one.
This is where most people are gonna have issues, i feel.. know.
Because they dared to say that Religion brings us together. More specifically, “ways that religion brings us together”. And i think the underlying thing about their comments on the mechanics part, is that they are a little too roseie about religion. As if there’s equally positive and negative sides to religion.
Although i have to admit that religion isn’t all bad, i think it could be argued that it’s mostly a force for bad. But i’m not interested in making that argument today, as i want to move along to the part i do want to go more in dept on. So let’s leave this subject for now.
I think the feelings that they’re trying the equate to “faith” should be referred to as “religious experiences”, “Zen” and/or spirituality. I don’t think the simple act of taking something on faith is really that noble thing they’re trying to describe; but rather, it’s the religious experiences, or spirituality. Which i agree with them on. We can all experience that, even if we’re very skeptical.
So really, my issue is just the terminology and i think it’s the mayor part of the backlash, is that they didn’t adequately explain it (Not that i have any delusions of being the one to correct them. I’m just pointing out how i see it, and it’s just my opinion on the matter)
And the other thing that they use the word faith for, which i have some issues with, is when talking about subjectivity and human beings. They bring up such things as “what if we’re just a part of a matrix” or “cogito ergo sum”. Which are valid points, and even here, i agree with them. When it all comes down to it, we can only look at things from a subjective view point. Anyone who knows anything about the electromagnetic spectrum knows just how blind our senses are, and the knowledge of all the science of the universe and all that, really doesn’t help that much in giving us a more objective point of view. They bring up how people are so sure about things like Newtonian physics, yet it does nothing to explain the subatomic world.
But yea.. Subjectivity should have been mentioned instead, and spirituality (For instance) would have been a more accurate term in the first point they made. Instead, they opted to say “faith” instead. Would explaining this better really help though? Would it stop all these people from getting mad at them?
Of course not. Apart from being very.. liberal when explaining the impact religion has had on our culture (Not that this should bother anyone, seeing as they didn’t mean anything bad by it. They just wanted to get to the meat of the topic, not explain shit just to apeace maybe a few rambunctious urchins), they also dared to compare the ignorance that exists within religion to the ignorance of even the smartest scientsts. Which triggers the general fanbase of science. Because they have attached their ego to it, and they’ve made sure to put themselves far above the religious, because they with their lingo brains are so obviously better than those damn dogmatic, religious scum.
That’s how i look at it at least. Have i really made my point about their videos? I agree with what they’re saying, i just don’t think they formulated themselves very well (Like i said, not that i’m much better). And my attack on those who get upset at people saying those things. The science fans, so to speak. They’re just fanboys. There’s nothing else you can really say. When someone has attached their ego to something, it’s really hard to say anything without upsetting them. So an obvious overreaction on their part.
The nail polish story. Depression over essentially nothing, welcome to my life.
I’ve been feeling very depressed the last two days. All due to my gender dysphoria. I think all transsexuals has at least one story, involving feeling depressed during xmas, and i’m no different. Something as little as removing my nail polish was enough to make me hate myself this time. I wish i could be beyond feeling like that for the most minor things. But i can’t. And hey, at least i’m not alone.
So what’s the story? Well, i removed my nailpolish prior to going to my parents place. And while there, i just started to feel really depressed. You know. Why on earth do i bother? I just feel that everything i do is a lie. I can’t be myself among people i’m supposed to feel comfortable around? What the hell is wrong with me?
I still don’t feel comfortable enough to go full woman yet either. I lack clothing and stuff.
And all this, in tandem with getting gifts, just makes it worse. I decided to just go home instead of staying there, so i skipped all the gifts. Didn’t open them until today actually. Got some guy clothes, of course.. I’d rather not get anything.. But that’s my problem. I feel like a fucking prick for speaking this way. And maybe i am. Probably am. But i can’t help it, and i guess my doctor’s appointment with an expert on transsexuals is some kind of defense, right?
Well, anyway. Long story short. I probably won’t celebrate xmas anymore. I mean, for one, i just can’t get my xmas spirit up anymore, and being among people in that way just isn’t working for me anymore. I can’t handle it. So it’s best that i just remove myself from it.
One piece fandom
On a happier note. I feel much better now. I think the long discussion my brother and i had about one piece did the trick. To think that i still know so much about it even to this day. Oh, and Van Auger was the character with such a funny and awesome name, that i couldn’t think of earlier. Hehe.
I’v been a fan of one piece since almost the beginning. I remember there only being about 3 manga volumes out when i finally got my hands on the first three issues, and i’ve been a fan since. Sure, i haven’t watched it in about three years now. But who can blame me? The series is going on forever. Kind of want it to end.. But you know, i’m still a fan. It’s been long overdue, and i should catch up again. I’m just not much of a wait-a-week-to-watch-next-episode kind of person. I’d rather watch in huge chunks.
Finding my inner videogamer again
I recently got done with Metroid prime. And damn is that a great game. The final boss is a lot of fun, and lets you use all the weapons and skills you’ve learned during the adventure. I know i’m probably in the minority on this, but i’ll take metroid prime over any 2d metroid, any day.
So i feel like i should move onto other games now. Feels great having gotten into the swing of playing more games. What started me and my brother’s discussion on one piece was a game called skies of arcadia. Which is what i think i’ll play soon. I’ve completed it before, and watched my brother played it to the end two times. So i’m a big fan of it. It involves sky pirates, and it’s an old school, unique RPG. So all the stars are aligned for a great experience, and it sure as hell is.
I have the gamecube port of the game.
Then i guess i will be tackling psychonauts too. My brother got it for me three days ago. Little has to be said about it, i think. I’ll just let the trailer for it do the talking for me.
And that’s about it. Kind of a lacking post, and it’s not the karma post or anything. But i guess i had to get it out of my system. Now, tomorrow, i should be cleaning my apartment, because my big sister who is visiting is going to come over tomorrow.
I’ve been having a lot of dreams lately. One involved having lesbian sex and another was about easter eggs in videogames.
The one i had this night was about a casino that someone was making in a normal American household neighborhood. The casino (The owner, a woman) contacted me where i live, in the middle of Sweden, asking me if they could buy some land from me. More specifically, they wanted to buy the land where my bed is in the room. Now.. i don’t know why they’d want that, but i said i was going to think about it.
After that, the dream eventually took me into final fantasy, where i did some money stealing trick on a monster in that game. That monster would later turn out to be the casino, which made me want to un-retweet the tweet i had retweeted, after having stolen money from that monster (The tweet was about me stealing that money. I think it was about 5000 GIL). I can’t let them think that me stealing money from them constitutes a selling of land, now, can i? You’d think i’d be more concerned with them wanting to press charges.. But yea..
So where does Obama come into the picture? Well, they called again shortly after i had un-retweeted that tweet, and i said to them that i was still unsure, and that i would only consider it if they sent Obama.
A few hours later, the doorbell rang, and in came Obama. I remember not being too surprised. He was a very nice person — as i expect he is in real life — and he told me everything about the legality of me selling this land, and what they were going to do with it. Apparently, they could take this land and transfer it to the US.. Somehow..
So after a nice visit, and having made a new friend, Obama took his leave, and left for the US in his private airplane. After he had left, my parents came back (I live with them, and they weren’t at home), and asked me who that was. I said it was the president of the united states, Obama. They didn’t believe me at first though! Only later when the transfer of the land was completed would they believe me. Which is what i did. I called back to the Casino, which was now owned by two people, and sold them the land. I can’t remember for how much though! All i know is that i was suddenly in the Casino with them. It looked like an old school videogame arcade…
And that’s the end of the dream. Pretty weird.