I like your videos, but this really isn’t one of your best. Cheers!
About a week ago, i asked someone to simply elaborate on why she would vote for Hillary. And without even arguing against voting such a way, i’m going to demostrate how one Hillary supporter completely fell appart at even the slightest scrutiny of her position!
This is Jennifer Boylan! And i asked her this (A greater context of the conversation):
“Is there literature available that divulges your reasons for supporting Clinton?” Twitter ~JennaGrip
This is a reasonable question, seeing as she had just tweeted her implicit support of Hillary. All i wanted to know was what her reasons for supporting Hillary in the election.
And this was her response and my response to that
“As opposed to Trump? The only literature I have is this piece of paper declaring me sane.” Twitter ~JennyBoylan
“So no real arguments then? Just your typical “lesser of two evils”?” Twitter ~JennaGrip
Which isn’t an argument for something! Simply stating that you hate one candidate isn’t the same as arguing for another! So it’s not an actual argument.
“You’ll find this shocking, but I don’t try to change people’s politics with tweets.” Twitter ~JennaBoylan
Immediately, she goes into defensive mode! Remember, all i wanted was to read something by her, wherein she defends voting for Hillary.
And i’ll have to add to this, that you shouldn’t actually go into trying to change people’s politics ever! Not in Twitter, not on Facebook, not on Instagram, not in an actual argument, not in a lecture! Not ever!
Change in people’s politics comes naturally through argumentation! I realize you don’t do that kind of stuff, but that’s the truth.
But more to the point, i didn’t even ask for that! I know, shocking, right?
That’s why I initially asked. You don’t seem to want to convince anyone anywhere. Twitter ~JennaGrip
The first sentence of my response is dead on, but the second one misread what she actually said. I even said “Convince”. As if she said “I don’t try to change people’s mind on Clinton”. But really, i was just disappointed that she wouldn’t make such an effort anywhere. Even though she does write for various different sites.
Whatever I’m trying to say, I prove it through the fact of my life. My writing’s not bad either. Twitter ~JennyBoylan
Your lived experience means absolutely nothing when it comes to argumentation! Should we automatically take Pat Robertson seriously because of his advanced age? Or maybe good ol’ George H.W? Or maybe we should discount age altogether, huh?
Your writing’s not bad either? Are you saying my writing isn’t bad? Did you mean “My writing’s not bad, either”?
You know, perhaps your writing is better than mine, but since we’re doing adhoms, can i tell you where you got that attitude? By surrounding yourself with Yes Men! Maybe you’ve kept hearing this line of compliments a little too long!
Here’s another thing on this whole “Aheim Bettar ett languich den ju!”. This isn’t my first language. Or second. It’s my third language. So if it’s not up to your highfalutin standard, i’m deeply sorry, oh, wise sage!
Or maybe i misunderstood what you said! After all, i’m just some English is my third language fuck!
Oh, you sweet thing! Twitter ~JennaGrip
This is where any hope of a real conversation ended for me, and i went into troll mode! She was already there, but now i followed suit!
If you want to read the rest, you can check the Greater context, and make up your own mind about this whole mess! I’m just glad to finally have written this, so i can put it behind me!
In summary, i’m very sad about it! Because i used to have a lot of respect for her, but after her horrible handling of even the slightest questioning, i myself have to question her handling of her questioning.
As a funny little extra, i thought it was amusing that, during this back and forth, one of her little sycophants tweeted me this:
Idea that tweeters seeking convincing actually seek to be convinced is hilarious. Twitter Elisa
Yeah, i guess you can assume that about people. Yup! Everyone else is close minded! Not you, though!
Sarcasm aside, i actually do hear people out. Don’t believe me? Then let’s debate, @TrulyTG
This is going to be unedited and very rambly. So don’t say i didn’t warn you!
When i was younger, my oldest sister would tell me the name i would have gotten if i was born a girl.
That memory lingers with me to this day.
I woke up this morning with a strange feeling of disattachment to my own body. I look myself in the miror, but i don’t quite see what i wish was there. It couldn’t be my body, because i remember when i started developing a sixpack back when i was much more fit, i was mortified. Somehow, being more fat makes me feel a little better, because it does mask those features. It’s not what i want.
And i’m not too happy about other more male features with myself either… Some of the time. A lot of the time, i can stomach all of it except explicitly being called a man or dude or whatever. That just sits wrong with me all the time. But so does being called a woman when i’m obviously presenting male.
I have had to learn the whole nature aspect of the difference between men and women. Whereas it came naturally to everyone around me, i just couldn’t for the life of me understand why everyone made such a big deal about someone being a girl or a boy. I understand it on an intellectual level now, but being bi, i still don’t make the difference between men and women. For me, it just doesn’t matter. But i do understand the difference, and it’s something that’s good to be aware of. Men tend to be more aggressive and women tend to be more nurturing. The differences that can be attributed generally to men and women are there. It’s nature! Anyone can look up the differences of brain anatomy, secondary sexual features and gender dimorphism.
I’m ok with being a man in society, because i definetely don’t feel the massive gender dysphoria that a lot of transsexuals feel. In fact, i question whether or not i even have it. Am i just gender confused? Am i trans?
One thing that’s holding me back is the frame i have to work with! I’m not so sure i would look so good as a woman. I mean, i enjoy the girlier things in life like makeup, skirts, nailpolish and stuff. But yeah..
Suffice it to say, i’m conflicted. Because i feel that i should just move on and live my life as it is, but on the other hand, these feelings keep plauging me. I can live this way fairly easily, but part of me doesn’t want to. I feel really good when i get to express myself this other way, but more than i’m happy to admit, i feel weird about it.
For several reasons, i decided to stop with my “investigation” (As they call it) in the transsexual clinic, because it just wasn’t worth it. The bad outweighed the good. What does that say about me? I’ve already admitted to myself that i don’t feel too strongly about it, but that there is some feeling there! So it would go without saying that my other priorities, which would have been impossible or more difficult to do if i had continued with the investigation, would take precedence.
Some of my friends have told me to try hormones for a few months to see how i feel after that. Or to just live as a woman for a while. But getting the hormones is a difficult task. Because either i have to go through the system where i get a million dumb questions just so that they can be sure that i’m of sound mind, or i get them illegally. But illegally would mean that i had to trust the person selling it, i would have to messure the effect myself, i would have to be careful about the dosage, etc.
I’m not sad about this at all. It just puts me in a very contemplative mood! Because i don’t really know what to make of these feelings!
While browsing some old pics, i found one that i find to be a lot more representative (If you will) of me. I Mean, do i need to go into how there will always be some pics that are less flattering and some that are more flattering? Out of hundreds of pics, i usually only get a handful that i find to be “good pictures” of me. It really is as they say. You are your worst critic.I find that to fit for me, at least.
But anyway. Without further ado, here’s the pic!
I’ve been feeling pretty bad as of late. It’s a mix between the usual anxiety and the fact that days are getting much shorter (Seriously, I live two to four hours by by car from the arctic circle). But as any expert or amateur on anxiety will tell you. “Anxiety is your body’s way of telling that you need to change something in your life”. So naturally, under such huge amounts of it, I’ve been thinking of ways out.
So while I was out walking, I started thinking about what I should do.. I thought about the fact that I might not get a renewed contract at my work place next year (next October), that my hair is falling off, that I’m fat, and that living here is going to make me fade away into nothing. I figured I had to do something. Because I want to make something out of my life. I want to be somebody. I want to live as myself in a place I feel comfortable.
But.. There’s always a but. I have my comfort zone. I have a work here, I have relatives who helps me a lot. So how I could just pack and leave? I’d better not think of the what ifs. Because that’s not going to help me one bit. But there is a rational part of that. I have the support structure here. Over in some other place, I won’t. So it’s an undertaking. Or is it?
I figured, I need to get a perspective. I need to briefly get out of my comfort zone and weigh my options.
And what better way to do that than to visit my big sister down in Göteborg. Perhaps by doing that, I could get some perspective.
This song pretty much helped me come to this conclusion. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRHAnHdfk6k&app=desktop
First of all, sorry for the inactivity. Summer’s been rough and i haven’t been in the mood for anything, lately! But i’m back now, and hopefully, i’ll get this blog back on its feet!
The last few posts have been about me venting. I got fed up with the trans community, and i’ve been venting my frustration. So i don’t think i’ve really made cogent points as of late. Nothing but venting, as a recent post is even called. Maybe this post won’t be much different, but maybe it can at least give you an idea of where my feelings come from.
A year (or so) back, i had a big argument with someone i used to call a good friend of mine. We argued about how GTAV had trans characters that you could kill and what not. She basically thought it would further the violence against transsexuals, while i argued that i think the makers of GTAV should be able to express themselves however they want, and that it would not further the violence against transsexuals, just like how guns in games won’t make people go berserk with guns.
Now, i’m fine with someone being allowed to express their opinion on something, and two people having a disagreement, but it was one specific logical fallacy that put me over the edge. Before going into it, let me tell you my mindset at the time. I was feeling very unsure of myself, and i seeked out the trans community for validation. I was very insecure about myself, and kind of felt that i had to act within certain parameters. All just for validation (From a bunch of idiots, really).
Anyway. The logical fallacy that she used was an ad hominem. She basically told me that i don’t know the strife of transsexuals or women, because i “haven’t been a woman long enough”. You can imagine that my fragile little ego got shattered. I didn’t call her out on the fallacy, because the huge disgust i felt at myself for not being a good enough woman. That’s how she made me feel, and i haven’t really been able to put this to rest up until now.
Been spending the whole year loving Drunken Peasants. Which stars TJ (The AmazingAtheist). As a sidenote, i’m currently working on a “best of” for their one year anniversary. But that’s neither here nor there!
To make a long story short, TJ has made me accept who i am. Because he’s put it in such eloquent terms, that logic and reason are the best tools you can use, and that no one should get to dictate how you act or feel about yourself.
I am myself, i know i’m a trans woman. I don’t have to act a certain way just to get someone’s validation. Because, guess what? You’re an asshole if you don’t consider me a woman, just because i don’t fit within your parameters of what a woman is.
This is what i feel the trans community and my used-to-be-good friend did to me. But TJ – a supposed misogynist, transphobic, racist homophobe – gave me that confidence and acceptance. That confidence and acceptance that these people never gave me.
Look! I’m usually a rational person about groups and what not (At least i’d like to think that). But i obviously had too much personal feelings attached to this specific thing! I wanted to be validated so bad, that i was blind to the absence of logic and rationality. All i can say is, thanks, TJ! I’m finally able to put these thoughts to rest, after thinking about it for so long.