I was going to include this in the previous post about Jennifer Boylan, but i figured that about 400 words was enough. Besides, she deserves her own post.
So this one will just quickly go through a few others that i have added to my permanent inspirational people audio list (One that i carry on me everywhere i go, just so i can listen to them when i feel like it)
- Adam Savage – at the amazing meeting 7:
- Carl Sagan – pale blue dot excerpt:
- Christopher Hitchens – at the amazing meeting 5:
- Richard Dawkins – We are going to die:
- Jennifer Boylan – A life in two genders:
- Stephen Fry – All about i:
- Steve Jobs – Stanford Commencement speech 05:
- Feynman series – Beauty (Excerpts from an interview):
- The four horsemen – Atheism discussion:
- TJ & Paul – America. The beautiful or the shameful:
I hope to really expand on this list as i go along. Would like to see some more representation in it in the future. But it’ll take a lot for me to put something on here. It takes me wanting to hear these people over and over again. Which i do. All of these. They’ve all stirred something within me, in one way or another. From me wanting to find out more about life, to me finding out more about me.
It would be really cool if i could turn some people on to any of these people. Or to hear from someone who has any recommendations for really great speeches or monologues or dialogues. Whichever. Do you know of any i’ve missed?
Lots of podcasts. About mental illnesses, stephen fry, bipolar disorder and dream theater. George Takei on Penn’s sunday school.
Been out walking for most of this day, and yesterday. Listening to a lot of podcasts. I have to say. I have no idea what i would have done without podcasts. I would probably have gotten sick of my music a long time ago, and i wouldn’t have as much to think about.
Listened to the full, what i think is, 3 hours, of Stephen Fry talking about bipolar disorder. About his own struggles, where he’s going next with it (Medication, therapy, etc) and how it’s getting worse for him. He also talked to various people who had undergone a lot of different therapy to feel better. And talked about detaining the hyper manic. How it works. Basically the whole thing. It was very moving to hear, and i think it’s very courageous of him to be so open about it.
I can’t really say that i personally am suffering from bipolar disorder though. Just a lot of anxiety, in what i think is anxiety disorder. I’m hoping that it’ll get better as soon as i move out.
Lastly, i’ve been listening to penn on his podcast, where he had George Takei on, to talk about various things. One of which was George’s efforts to educate the american public on the racist prison camps that came about during the WW2. Very interesting stuff, since he was about 5 years old at the time. I recommend checking it out.
Again, i can point to dream theater when it comes to mental illnesses, since they wrote a whole album about the subject (Six degrees of inner turbulence)
This one is expressly about bipolar disorder. From what i understand, it explains it pretty well.
Another song about another mental illness, which also wraps up the whole album (The finale), explains how we basically need to stop discriminating against those of us who are suffering from a mental illness. Highly recommend that one as well.
“A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.”
I have a few people in my life that i can call acquiescence, at the very least. But the more i think of it, the more i realize that i have no friends. I know how awfully self-pitying that sounds, but it’s true.
I try to make someone feel better. Someone i know. But it’s not really mutual. It’s just me. Trying my damnedest to be friends with her.
Then there’s a few on the internet who it would be cool to be friends with. But the issue there is that it’s far from mutual. It’s always me, who tries to get in contact. And it ‘s always they who inexplicably just stops replying. I’ve address this a few times, and it’s always “I’m too busy, and i’ve dun goofed in forgetting it”. So to them, that’s my value i guess. Don’t get me wrong though! I do understand that people are busy, and that i am only just one random person on the internet. But it also hinders me from getting friends. I mean, what am i to do? A lonely transsexual in a hillbilly one horse town?
My issue is that i don’t feel the mutual bond. It never plays out that way. I guess the closest now a-days is Darin. But i can’t really say i know him. Some kind of mutual bond does exist though. I think, at least.
That’s the problem when talking about friends.. You never know what the other ones think. This turned into a rambling piece again.. How typical. I can’t seem to get my mind straight anymore.
All i know is that i’ve secluded myself from people, and now i’m trying to dig myself out of it. With no one here to help me, outside of my family. Which is all well and good. But i do miss a friend.
I’ll leave off with this:
I think i will be taking a long walk now, and just listen to some podcasts. I’m not going to feel self-pity. It’s counterproductive. Just like my anxiety.
Slow sunday. Stephen Fry, podcasting and walking. Anxiety disorder material.
Been a typical sunday today. Nothing happening, no updates, no nothing. So i’ll just briefly explain what i’ve been doing today.
Been out walking for the most part. Feeling pretty content in the sun at this time of year. Pretty much winter here now.
Been listening to more stuff you should know. On the 4x mark now, so i’m getting down there. The episodes i heard was about lucid dreams and brainwashing and more. Then i also listened to some Stephen Fry and friends, talking about Hitchens. So that was great. Going to listen to Stephen Fry talk about his manic depression tomorrow. That’ll be very interesting for sure.
Then i’ve been thinking of a serious image change for myself as soon as i move out. I want to expand my outlook of the world too.. Going to try to figure out how later on. I just don’t know what to do.
Going to feature a lot of good things that explain anxiety disorder:
In today’s post:
Blabbermouth. Mayor news on the music program. I think i’m witty, can you believe it? And a raping parrot.
I ended doing a lot of programming today. Finally done with most of the rough parts of the music program. Turned out looking much better than i thought. I didn’t make a video of how the window animates yet. I might do it once the UI is done, which is what’s next! Hell yes!
Been very social this whole night (didn’t get much of a shut eye, to put it lightly) and the whole day. So it’s been fun. Even though my body is kind of tired, and i’m probably not making much sense anywhere, i’ve still had a good time.
We had a very sudden thunderstorm today too. Took a video of it. Probably won’t show it anytime soon though! Just for later, i guess.
But yea.. This post is fairly disjointed, which is indicative of a non-sense post. Haha!
Had so much fun with people on twitter though.. I love just saying whatever pops into my head, and making witty jokes about things. Mostly rooted in sarcasm, but i think they end up being very witty. You know.. Maybe i am naturally witty. From what i read about what wit really is, i feel that i may just be fairly witty, when i don’t restrict myself too much. But i don’t know. I couldn’t possibly be the judge of that.
Didn’t end up taking out the motherboard today, because mom forgot to bring the tools from my brother’s place. Oh well. I can always do that tomorrow.
Hopefully, i’ll get an answer from the school tomorrow. Also, i should apply for a new flat too. Got a no in the mail once again today. Which is still expected, of course. Not frowning about that.
It speaks for itself:
Am i too selfish?
I just saw a video with Stephen Fry, talking about life’s many wonders, people, behavior, culture.. and it made feel as though, maybe i’m too selfish.
It really touched me. Because i am what he explains. I’m someone always talking about myself.
When i broke up with Vanna, a long time ago, i told myself that i would concentrate on me for once. I would listen to what i wanted, and do things i wanted. Because i had spent every waking hour, doing everything with her, so now it’s MY time… Yea… My time… It’s been over 3 years now. Heck, close to 4, in terms of our break up. Before meeting her, i would always be a lot more mindful of others. I still am, to some extent, but i used to be a lot less selfish. Not her fault, obviously. I just don’t know why it took me this long to realize that i’m a selfish prick, who may not be that interested in what others has to say. Even though i try to convince myself of that.
Keep a good mood. Hear what other people have to say. Know them. Part of my inner child i wish i could strangle to death is the part that only wants attention and affirmation, and the part i want to lift out more, is the curiosity. I will do my best to be a better person. And that’s that!