In today’s post:
Detailing the first school day, after more than 3 years of unemployment and stress disorder. A little more borderlands.
It was the first day of school today, and i am just beat! Had to wake up in some ungodly hour (6am or so), and ended up only getting two hours of sleep.
But yea. The trip there was fairly long too. Keep in mind that i started at 10am, and got to the town the school’s in, at about 8:40am. To sum up the first day, i’d say it was hellish, or nightmarish. It’s obvious that i’m not used to interacting with many people or doing anything, really. It was kind of an eye-opener, how much i need this, to get away from this old way of being. Anxiety disorder.. Horrible.
But yea.. Things are going forward though! I love getting to a new town and all that. It’s a shame i can’t really be myself in my current state though! I feel so bogged down by it. Had to run to the toilet more than ten times before the day was done. To cry, two of the times.. It’s very hard for me, obviously. I’m just not used to it.
I was very relieved when the day was over though. Went to look around more in town, and ate some pizza. Then i took the train home. Tomorrow will be better, i feel.
When i got home, i told my family about my day, and we just ended up talking for a while. My brother and i talked a little about Borderlands too. We ended up playing multiplayer in the Jacob’s cove DLC for a few hours. Which is a good ending to the dawning of a new me.
All in all, i feel that unless i actually confront with my fears, and that which makes me feel very uncomfortable and all that, nothing’s gonna get better. So it’ll be a tough couple of weeks.
Last day of school for the week. Turns out that it’s mostly homework for about 6 weeks or so. So it’s a soft start, thankfully.
I decided that i would take a two day break from training. I didn’t do any of the excercises yesterday, and none today. I fealt that i just had to take a break from it. That being said. Tomorrow, before taking my first walk, i should do some training. Do it in the afternoon instead.
I finally got a letter from the school. Well, that’s good, right? I didn’t get a no, but i got a reserve spot.. Which makes me wonder how fucking good grades some other people must have had. Or maybe it was just randomly selected, and i happened to be unlucky.. Or maybe they had merits that put them higher up. Either way.. It didn’t make me feel very good. Sure, it’s around spot 15 on one that i applied for, and strangely enough, 18 and 19 on another.. So i haaaveee…. twooo… spoooots? I have no clue. But why am i not shocked? Not a single human in Sweden seem to understand simple database software. So who knows.
Not feeling too optimistic towards it.
I could get it tomorrow. Tomorrow could be it!!
Other than all that.. i’ve mostly just been sitting on my ass, tweaking my windows. Tried to make a music experience that i would want, but alas, not a single music program works the way i want it to. Then i added some bar with a program called launchy. Which i will try to use when searching computer for things. Then i looked through the chome webstore a little. Ended up not getting anything. And lastly, i got an android notifier so i will know when my battery is low, when i get a message, and when i get calls on my phone. Seems silly to you? Well, i’d like to have a popup on my computer that shows me these things, because i apparently aren’t at home when things happens on it, and i tend to not check my phone very often. This way, i will be able to keep good track of it!
Oh, yea! And it’s my sister’s birthday today. Good for her.
Tomorrow, i should snail-mail my agree papers to the school. That i agree on the reserve positions. Considering that there are more people who search for more than one course, and that some could jump out anyway, i guess i still do have a chance. But i’m not keeping my hopes up. They got much lower now. But hey! At least i haven’t cried today!
A really cool image from Kuha Karuhas Pavilion in the Khao Sam Roi Yot national park, Thailand:
It’s been about 15 days now, i think, of exercising. I’ve taken the step where i stop eating snacks, sweets (Started that yesterday), i’ve done specific exercises for 14 days, and today.. i started something the doctor also recommended i’d do. Walk briskly and/or start jogging. So the first time on the track, so to speak. It’s actually a forest close to where i live, you can take a rout there. It’s fairly long. I think a little over a Swedish mile. I’m used to walking, so i was able to take a longer walk.
My feet felt pain from the walk, and i worked up quite the sweat. Was a pretty beautiful weather too. Saw two rabbits at the end of the rout.. You know.. I never really thought about how huge they are. But they were deathly afraid of me, so i was too late to get a picture. There was also a bunch of water in some places. You know. From the rainy weather, combined with people taking heavy vehicles into the forest. So i got a little wet.
Lastly, on my 200 word training section, i also upped the ante on my regular exercises. So now i have to do a few more. 6 more “Framåt stretching”, 5 more toe-ups and 5 more sit-ups.
So while out and about on my walk in the forest, i listened to Penn’s Sunday school. It’s my favorite podcast that only comes once a week (sadly). And.. It’s hard for me to really describe it, but i just love Penn. I love all the stories he has, i love how much he enjoys life, i agree on most of the things he believes in (Politically, religiously, etc), i love when he’s serious, i love when he’s goofy, i love the shows he puts out, i love his unique perspective on life. I just love him.
I will totally re-listen to all the Penn Radio podcasts he has. It’s been ages since i listened to them last (A little over a year and a few months), and i simply can not get enough of him. I’m sure there are a lot of them i have forgotten though. But yea, it is what i’ll do.
In case you’re interested, i highly recommend Penn’s Sunday school. Latest episode was about how James Randi shaped Penn into what he is today, TAM and squid sperm.. Which is another aspect of him i really like. It’s about the only show out there, where they can talk about how funny monkeys are, and have interviews with the likes of Richard Dawkins. Wonderful times to be had, for sure.
Other than that.. I had a strange night, where i woke up suddenly, feeling pretty anxious.. Well, it is what i told myself. I am prepared for the feelings that i will have! It is part of facing the fears and “evils” of getting a normal life again.
During the day, i played some Roller coaster tycoon again. Such a fun game. Didn’t think i would have the urge to play it today, but i did, and i had fun! Then i played some call of duty with my little brother. It was fun, but i think the game is wearing thin on me now. I donno.. There’s just not much to it after a while, i feel. Oh well. Mindless fun, non the less. We should play border tomorrow. I had some mild feelings of discomfort due to my condition, but overall, it went good. Better than yesterday, when the discomfort was a little worse. But.. Like i’ve said.. It’ll get better.
Tomorrow.. I guess will be much of the same, minus the dog that came for a visit today.
My moms brother’s dog, Zorro.
Apparently, it was going to rain tomorrow, so we’ll see if it’ll be a walk in the forest, or if i’ll have to take my brisk walk elsewhere. Then i’ll start with Penn Radio again. A lot of stuff to listen to for the coming months. Awesome!
A pretty funny video with “Somegraybloke” i watched earlier:
I usually have a problem naming my entries.. Well.. At least until i’ve written down my thoughts. But this time, it was obvious that it had to be “iOS6”. More on that in a few though.
A week of training! Seven days! It’s one of the best things i’ve done in a long time. Having some daily stuff i have to do, that actually requires quite a lot of physical work. It’s a good thing to have, and again, i highly recommend anyone to start doing exercises on a regular basis.
Today’s been a fairly ok day. I’ve been feeling a little exhausted as of late. But it happens.. I feel that perhaps i should tone down a lot on the sweets and snacks. It’s been something i feel i should have done a long time ago, but it’s even harder doing that when i live at home, where an issue for me is, as the song goes, an excess of excess.
My little brother’s been trolling cheaters in call of duty all day today. He really loves doing it. And really, it’s pretty much an open thing with hackers/cheaters in games. Making them annoyed or whatever, while they’re cheating, is a-ok with me, and most of us. Sure, you could claim it’s a waste of time, but heck! He seemed to be enjoying himself.
I actually had to make a shorter list on what to write about on this post, because i have so many different thoughts on things right now.
Apple announced a bunch of apple stuff today at their developer conference today. Mountain lion looks really pretty, and it makes me want an apple laptop, almost. Especially now that there’s an echo system for notifications. A feature windows has ALWAYS lacked.. I mean.. The best we have is the tray and baloon popups. Sure, we could go to growl and integrate via that one, but i feel that growl lacks too many features, and is far from pretty. Maybe because making things pretty in windows is not a default, like xcode. Trust me.. I’ve dug around in the libraries. They’re well documented and all, but it certainly takes a lot more time to make something look pretty on it. But i digress…
iOS6.. Business men and women are going to love it. They certainly put a huge emphasis on that crowd. From a bunch of different siri upgrades which can display much more info now, to upgrades of the mail app. Heck! Everything got smaller updates. Sadly, none of it really captured me. iOS4 was awesome because you could have background and multitasking. Two huge things if you ask me. Then iOS5 with notification center. A bit of a game-changer that one. But iOS6 did nothing for me. The safari stuff, i’m still curious about though. They had finally activated the transfer API (Or whatever it’s called), so that you can upload things like pictures to files via the browser. But i do wonder about the webkitnotification API on it. I’m not keeping my hopes up though.
Accesability and moving away from google were two pretty major things too. I mean.. Siri has many more languages now, and google maps is no longer integrated into it. They have their own service now apparently. Now.. If they could only remove the damn youtube app.
I think that about covers the iOS stuff. I’m a huge freak when it comes to things like these. I just love new tech.
While the iOS live blogging was going on, i was scripting. For the first time in a long time, i was making scripts. I started the day with some simple youtube video thing (The one i mentioned i’d do yesterday), but scrapped it because i just didn’t see the point of it. I tried to justify it as a “fullscreen, everything you need videoplayer, or some shiz”, but i just gave up on the idea. I did, however, make a script that would notify you on new comments on any video you visit. It’s currently in its early stages. Still a lot of improvements to do on it. But i think it should be fun to keep developing on it. Right now, it does the very basics. Checks when new comments appear on a video (Only on the “All comments” page of a video right now) and pops up a simple notification for you. I’m using it right now actually, and it’s just fun! I don’t know if anyone else gets the same feeling from their creations, but i certainly love it. Small as it may be. You can find it here: http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/135779 Currently only works on chrome, although i should probably try to find alternate ways of displaying notifications on other browsers. I should also make a todo list on it. So i can keep my thoughts in check on it.
And those are some of the more major things of today. I wanted to make a note that i’m just loving Penn’s sunday school, and i almost feel like going back to penn radio again. Then i’m still having a lot of fun with Dungeon Village. My town is about to hit lv 3 now. I lack some income to meet the requirements to advance.
And lastly.. like i mentioned yesterday. I was feeling pretty old when i thought about that it was about 7 years ago since i turned 18.. And since then, all i’ve done is that i have failed a school due to… Too many factors and a long long story about a lover. I have decided that i will make a video about it sometime when i move out. Like i said earlier.. But yea. I failed school, and… Been at home for most of that time. Damn, no wonder i’ve been feeling so mentally unstable. But it has taught me quite a bit though, and i feel that this experience will aid me in my life. To have been down and out. It’s given me a lot of time to think.. But yea.. I’ve rambled long enough! This post is over 1000 words now. Fuck!! I feel like i should include some pictures in the middle. Why not.
Kind of a random video this time:
I feel that i have snapped up a little from this guy though. He’s very talented. Anyway!!!! That is it! I’m done. If you read all this, you’re awesome!
Been an unproductive day today. Nothing was done. I talked with my mom about stuff, and i mentioned being without work for so long, and we talked a little about the school i’m expecting news from in a month or two from now. I hope so much that i will get in. I have really high hopes, and i have yet to be rejected from any school. But the other times, i had financial issues to worry about. Not this time. If i get in, i’m set! I’ll get a new life, basically! That’s how i view it, at least. But that’s only if i get a yes. There’s always the chance of them saying no, and.. That would make me really depressed.
But i really don’t know. We’ll have to see. All i know is that my grades are above average, and that it will be of help in this case.
I played some wordfeud (Scrabbles, basically) earlier today, and damn! Xu is a fucking word. What does it mean? Oh, you don’t know? Well, i did use the American English dictionary in the settings. So it was a US dictionary that i was using. Well.. According to google (Who reference external dictionaries), it’s a abbreviation of a tier of currency used in Vietnam.. 1xu is worth a certain amount of dongs… It suuuure is.
Fuck you, wordfeud. As soon as i figured out that they basically singled out that word just to make more use of the X, i suspended all my English matches. I checked if the Swedish “kr” was accepted, because 1kr is worth 100 öre. But nope! On top of that, when you find that “ok” isn’t accepted, you just.. Loose all faith in them. So i don’t know how much i’ll play it. I’ll try the Swedish one a little more, and probably just play it with mom and other people i know. But that’s it. Maybe the Swedish one will prove to be utter bullshit too. I know it didn’t accept “edo”, which is the name of a period in Japan, i think.. But i digress! That one’s my own ignorance, i’ll admit!
A note i feel like i should make on all of this, is that it could just be my massive ego who needs to make excuses why she lost so much. Maybe i’m just that lost in myself. I wouldn’t know, personally. I mean.. I do know that the game isn’t so much about what words you use, but rather, how and where you place them…
So.. After that rant.. Saw a really cool game today called “Watch dogs” (Video at end of post). Sat in my brother’s place with him, watching the E3 trailer.
First thought.. FINALLY A NEW IP! Something new coming from the AAA studios. Finally! The game looks fantastic too. I’ll admit. The trailer has me excited. Will totally follow the news on this one.
My brother and i also talked a little about some racist saying that “The immigrants are taking our jobs”. It was a response they had when it was reported that Greeks were fleeing their country to start a new life in Sweden. We did some quick observations about their statement, and realized that.. No.. Not really. I mean, if we look around us, we can see that there’s hardly a single immigrant working around. In stores and everything. So few get jobs, apparently. Which i think is a shame. I think everyone should be able to get a job.
If only it wasn’t even a fucking issue. But no.. I have to live in the time when humanity had to screw that specific thing up! But now i’m just complaining!!
I guess that about does it. Tomorrow.. I should call someplace. I’ve been reluctant to do so because of my right ear. Something inside of it.. Wax.. You know how it is, after you’ve had a fever. Can hardly hear a thing in it now.
Then i will also apply for another job. Once again. Will probably venture through the oho ocean in Mario And Luigi. Having a lot of fun on there. Today’s the 3rd day of training! Those trainings are pretty rough too. Gonna do the one for today after this post. I should probably put it earlier in the day though.