Tag Archive | new

Desensitized

I’ve been playing a lot of Zelda as of late. Currently replaying the oracle series, but i’m also playing A link between worlds. Which is a good game, although, very disappointing. And the people’s reaction to it, even more so. As a Zelda fan, i can easily say it ranks among the lowest for me… Seriously, one dungeon has two rooms (Turtle rock. Oh, how you have fallen),  the whole game is a complete rehash of A link to the past, and it has no defining moments. As it stands, it’s just good. A ranking of “good” only from the fun gameplay and the beautiful graphics.

As i posted my third little rant about how disappointed i was at the game, i started to think about it more. The fact that i’m more concerned with a silly little game than i am the issues of transsexuals.
Every single day, you read about a transsexual that was murdered in cold blood, by an intolerant killer. There comes a point where things like that desensitizes you, or at the very least makes you want to focus on something else, to forget about the harsh reality. I just don’t know what to do about it. I feel utterly helpless..

I guess i’m just one of many, who chooses to focus on trivial things, because reality is too uncertain, uncontrollable, and unfair.

Podcast android app, part 2

Remember part 1? Me neither! For some reason, i think i made a part 1 at some point. It’s been a long time since i updated on this subject. The reason being is that i just haven’t had any progress.. Until now! For two days now, i’ve been enjoying some android programming for my phone!

I’m making a podcast app, akin to “beyondpod”. Only, mine won’t have — what i consider — the issues that beyondpod has. More on what that is later. Right now, i’m learning the bells and whistles of android. How it operates and how it works! Since i’ve done GUI programming on a number of different platforms in the past (Windows, java applets, css), this has been going very smoothly. A lot of it is similar to Windows, but some of it has a very unique Android feel to it. Like how you use classes, and what everything in an app is considered..
This is all technological babble though! How about a screenshot?

Screenshot_2013-08-10-20-10-09

Note the little magnifying glass at the top left, in the notifications bar/top bar.
So yea.. It’s just testing the platform at the moment, so nothing i can really report on! All i’ve really done on the podcast app is thinking about features i want, and how i want it to look like. All in my head, so nothing i can show, yet!
Oh, some of the features it won’t have is backwards compatibility. I think 3.0 will be the lowest i’ll go. Mainly because i intend to keep this a free product, but also because i can’t really test the program on lower OSes.
I’m look forward to updating this more often!

PS: 10 points if you get the reference in the popup at the bottom of the screen!

New time! Already!

I learned about three days ago that i got a new time at the transsexual expert doctors (I still have no idea what to call them) in Uppsala. The new time is the 18th of June. So it’s less than a month, and that makes me excited! I was expecting that i would have to wait until the end of summer for a new time with them, but luckily, that wasn’t the case.

So with excitement and nervousness for the next encounter (Because i have no idea what they’re gonna say. Jocelyn ensured me that it was a good sign though), i am now going day by day with the usual chores, job days and meeting friends and such.. Actually, i just started seeing a friend quite regularly. He seemed to enjoy the nightly walks that i always take, so i’m expecting he’ll be keeping me company for quite some time. And i welcome it!

And the last thing i would like to write about is this blog, itself. I seem to have neglected it quite a bit. I don’t know if it’s because of laziness or if it’s because for the first time, i finally get to talk about my transsexuality with people. Sure, it’s still difficult to talk about, and i can be more open here.

But anyway! I’ll do my best to update more regularly.

Happy new year, and thank you

Happy new year everyone, and welcome to 2013. A lot of progress was made by not only me, but a lot of people i know as well. It seem to have been a successful year all around.
So, what did i accomplish this year? I started this blog around the end of April, and am now getting a regular 10 to 15 views per day. Which is pretty great, and i’m very thankful for that. To think that there are enough interesting things on here to garner even 1 view per day. I took my first steps towards gender reassignment, and am now waiting for an expert on the subject to contact me. I got a lot of twitter followers. Around 270 right now. And learned a lot about everything.
I hope to write more specific and in depth pieces in 2013 (I’ll actually write one right after this post actually) and not just focus on transsexualism. And maybe next year, i’ll be able to get 1000 views a month, instead of now where i get about 400 or more views a month. I gotta tell you, it’s fun watching those numbers get higher.

I’m happy for everyone who’s made a lot of progress this year, and let’s hope next year will be just as successful, if not more so. And a huge thank you to anyone who’s taken the time to check out my blog.

Day 36: Greener pastures

I remember that i made a post way earlier called “moving on”, so i had to come up with a title that was synonymous. All things considered (I seem to love using that word), i did a pretty good job. The word “Greener” is a bit ironic though. Since Deviantart is a green site.. So you know.. Yea.. Hehe.

So what now, Jenna? Why move on? Move on from where? Well, tomorrow’s monday, and yet another week of calling places start. It should be fun though. I’m considering giving plenty of places calls. Should be a lot of fun actually.
But i think i need to address some future plans. I came across a quote by none other than Salvador Dalí. It reads:

“Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings”. That quote spoke to me, so i decided to read up on the guy, and i got very fascinated with the man. Needless to say.
I’ve been writing about this quite a bit before, but i need passion. I need a driving force. I went on for so many years with one i thought was what i wanted to do (Gameprogramming), and now i don’t have it anymore. One measure i’ve taken to change things around is gradual change in my behavior (Which would happen anyway, obviously. But i’m thinking more along the lines of a consciously changing my habbits for what i think is the better) and getting more social. It’s worked pretty well so far with the whole stress thing, and i have gotten some good feedback from both hospitals about my leg, and the empolyment offices ‘n’ stuff! But enough about that.

I have some ideas and thoughts. For one, i want to delete my deviantart account. I’ll complete the work i promised i would do for some people, and wrap up the whole thing after that. Just be done with it. So i’ll make three pics this week, and delete the account at the end of it. A way to move on, and change things around, i think. I chose deviantart because i haven’t really gotten much out of being a member there in ages, and it feels like it’s time to move on from that site.

Then i had a good idea on a certain letter i posses. A letter i haven’t read since i got it initially. A letter from someone i used to love dearly, and the only one i’ve ever loved. I still have it, because i haven’t figured out what to do with it yet. I wrote a little about her before. The one who wrote the letter, Vanna. But now i’ve figured out what to do with it! As soon as i get my own place, and start living on my own, i will burn it up. I will make a video, explaining the whole story from my perspective, burn it up, delete all the stuff from those times, and just move on. I feel like it would be a great thing to do. Because i reminisce on the good times from those days more than i would like (Mostly because i tend to listen to music from then). But i’m leaving everyone who is reading this out in the dark now. It will all become clear in due time. There will be a lot of blogging and video’ing about it, for sure.

But that’s about it. A way to close that chapters and move on. Some future plans to close the days of old. Symbolically, for myself. I think it will feel great.

So yea! Basically what i’ve been doing today. Thinking of that. I played some more modern warfare with my little brother.. And that’s about it. I need to get back into Mario and Luigi. Still in the tutorial parts of the game.. You know.. Slow beginning is always the worst. I had the same thing with Golden sun too. So i have to chug along.

I can’t remember if i showed these guys before, but they really are some of the most passionate gamers i’ve ever seen:

HELLO WORLD!!! …

HELLO WORLD!!! Or perhaps i should say: Hello, WordPress!! I have decided that i will start writing daily blogs from now on. Exciting, huh?

I am a 24 year old transsexual, male to female woman from Sweden, who has been going around in limbo for 3-4 years now. No school, no job, living with my parents.. I am currently waiting for an answer from a school, and am contemplating on applying to another one as well. My grades are good, so i have high hopes that i will get in. While doing this, i am also frantically trying to find a job.

The goal with this blog is to discipline myself, by writing on it everyday; to give me routines by writing about what i am going to do and what i’m doing; to generally start indulging myself in my own life, and stop avoiding it with distraction after distraction. To change my life for the better, by sharing it with the world.

So it’s a blog for myself, about myself; everything a transsexual girl goes through. Whatever that may be. I’m looking forward to start writing. (:

 

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