I like traveling, seeing new places, meeting new people; I love laughing, watching stand ups, sketch shows, and comedy.
I need to indulge in these urges more often. I think my negative thoughts about my future is because I’m staying in the same place. Knowing what I know all the time… I’d like yo call it “bondsjuka” (farmer sickness).
Had a talk with a head doctor at the clinic I’m staying in. He changed my status from a 3 to the lowest (I think). So I’ll get to go out for the first time today.
I kind of like having these inhibitions. It forces me to take the stress head on, rather than running from it.
Everyone at this clinic is nice. Very good people.
Been meditating a lot.
Just had dinner. It’s funny, as a rule, on this clinic doesn’t allow chargers (because, I guess some people used them to take their lives?), but they allow tooth picks.. Sharp, stabby toothpicks.
I have to ask them to open a door where “valuables” are to charge things. My 3ds is currently being charged in that room.
Been playing some Luigi’s mansion 2. Really fun so far.
Ah… If only i was allowed yo have my chatger. But oh well.. Rules is rules. It’s for the safety of those who would get the idea of killing themselves with my charger, so it’s more than understandable.
I have to ask the person I’m taking a walk with, what my current status on this clinic is (you know.. I was talking about “from a 3” earlier)
It feels really nice not having to care anymore. I need to carry this attitude further in my life. Live for the moment, just have fun and relax.
I guess I should think more about what makes me stressed out.
Trudging the same spot over and over again…
I get stressed when conversing with people..
Let’s talk about that. I seem to be unable to get my brain to stay at a consistent level. It’s either max or min.. How do I rectify this? Well.. Brining it to light is one step. And maybe I need to practice calmness in the presence of others. Maybe then my anxiousness would subside a lot, and I won’t have to always worry about waiting..?
But how do I do that? It really does boil down to me having to be myself. So I guess that, once I get back from this place, I need to dress better. Get some unisex clothes (because I love that) and wear some dresses, god damn.
When I get home, I’m going to do a lot of clean up. Gonna remove a few people I’m following on WordPress, a lot of people I’m following on twitter.. Mainly because I want my timeline to cater to what I want to hear. Which is not a bunch of atheists talking about how god isn’t real.
I’m going to start vlogging. It’s about time I fulfill that promise I made myself, so very long ago.
There are many other things I will do once I get home too.. Speaking of. I left my computer on. Bloody hell! (Although, that thing is on all the time anyway, so whatever)
I am me.. I like to identify as a woman, but one major thing I need to stop doing is to try to live by someone else’s standard of what a woman is. It’s time I start being me!
Another good thing this trip is doing for me is to take me off sugar. I’ll admit, I’ve been eating far too much of it.
Met a really nice guy who I share a lot in common with. We talked about science, series, life and the world. You know, all those overearnest things anyone in our age is more than happy to discuss.
Hard to think I met someone younger than me. And like with most, someone with more severe problems than mine.
His issue is that he’s got aspergers and he thinks he needs ADHD medicine. Only problem is that people with aspergers aren’t treated seriously. I hope it’ll go well for him.
There’s a plum tree outside of the clinic. Tasted a plum… Not prime for eating yet. Not ripe.. Let’s just say.. Some of the higher up ones seem eatable though.
Aside from the personal, there are some very interesting people here. Been chatting it up with a few. Someone has back problems, and is running a risk of getting paralyzed. Alot of them who are around my age has severe depression, and has attempted suicide.
Again. I submit that my issues are minor. I wonder if I’m telling myself that just to get happier with my own condition?
Either way, it always feels good to know that I’m not alone in this.
I got a fantastic view from my room. The picture I took doesn’t do it justice, but at least it’s a memento.
The whole city is in my view. Reminds me about back in the day when I lived in a town called “kramfors”. Had a similar view there. That was the first and only time I had seen the full moon light up an entire lake, at midnight. Completely white.. I hope I will get to see that some day again. Maybe not tonight, or even in this town. But one day.
Going to play some Luigi’s mansion 2 before bed. Amazing game. Such a pure gaming experience.
I’ve been pondering “Girl gamers” as of late. Specifically, the Ubisoft spokeswoman who spoke at last years E3 (I Think it was the 2012 one). You could google it if you want the details, but basically, she was lambasted by a bunch of people, for just being a facade, a poser, a brainiac in a dress! Whatever you choose to call it! She replied to the weird criticism (Which was because she was a woman, let’s not pretend here.. But i have a point, so give me a few more sentences) by stating that she had gamed, saved more princesses, killed more monsters and saved more kingdoms than them (The ones critizing her). She said that she had been doing it before they were even born! And she had. She could prove all of it! And i thought it was the coolest reponse ever! Not only did she not play the victim card (Which is easy to do, and kind of a weakling’s way out when it comes to just words), but she told those bastards! If only i could remember her name..
But anyway! I was thinking about why she got the backlash to begin with. And her being a woman is certainly a part of it. But i think the root of it is that she is a woman, and women, traditionally doesn’t play games! It’s an instant disqualifyer in the minds of people such as that, i think! And any jock type guy, or little kid seems to land in a similar category!
What i’m getting at is that i think geeks just want others to suffer like they did. All old school geeks grew up getting bullied for liking Zelda, Mario, Sonic, Pacman, etc! And i’m among them! I remember having to be quiet about what i liked. Anyone even mentioning anything remotely geeky (Minus sports geeking.. That was ok) was subject to teasing or more commonly, bullying!
What i’m saying is that, there’s no wonder geeks are so sensitive! They want to rat out any poser. Any jock or girl, who used to bully them, who know, all of a sudden, think it’s cool! All the hell the geeks went through, just to have their hobby hijacked by jocks and girls! Fucking shit!!
That’s my opinion on what i think is part of, if not the root of the reason why geeks track down on girl gamers so much! Of course, they’re stupid morons when they think they’re in any authority to quiz women on games, as some sort of test. It’s pedantic nonsense.. But at least i’ve shared a little as to why i think they do it!
They’re just not happy about how things ended up!
EDIT: I should note that i think the term “girl gamer” is stupid! As far as i’m concerned, you’re a gamer.. Gender has nothing to do with it! So don’t be a dumb shit, like the girl portrayed here:
A fellow trans woman is making a video game, i just found it. Couple that together with this article: http://penny-arcade.com/report/article/video-games-showed-me-who-i-could-be-transgender-gamers-share-their-stories
I couldn’t find her twitter, sadly. But at least i can show you her work. It looks to be a pretty interesting title.
The article goes into the game she’s making, some clarifications on definitions and best of all, some transgender gamers stories. I highly recommend reading the entire article, to learn a little more about transsexuals and videogames (Very little of the article focuses on the negative, which is a huge refresher). A lot of it applies to me, and i’m sure a lot of my transsexual readers. And for those you want to know a little more about why gender in videogames matter to us, then please!
Oh, and if you would, please support her kickstarter! ^w^
I woke up to this bombshell today: http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/1bpbp0/im_glad_microsofts_creative_director_cares_about/
Source: https://twitter.com/adam_orth?protected_redirect=true (Of course, like a douche bag, he decided to go private. But in the unlikely event that he goes back to public, it should be linked)
There are two reasons why i want to comment on this. One is because i want to spread that message in whichever way i can. Second is because i need to sit down with you all, to tell you something important about this situation.
I doubt someone who’s managed to garner this much public backlash would have a future in a videogame company for years to come, so i think we can all rest assured that this guy’s gonna get what’s coming to him (Or at least that’s what i hope).
But i think we as consumers need to take it a step beyond the controversy, and start voting with our money.
Plain and simple, if microsoft decides to go through with the “always on” bullshit, don’t buy anything from them (Or at the very least, no more xboxes) until they change it. I mean, we saw this fail completely with sim city, and Diablo 3. Those two titles got a lot of negative publicity because of always online DRM.. People obviously don’t want to have a “always on” system anywhere. For three reasons:
- One — it’s a headache and huge inconvenience for people who actually pay.
- Second — it doesn’t work. Ever. At all. Never has. Never will. So it feels like companies are screwing us over for no good reason.
- Third — Not everyone has access to a stable internet connection, and just because you do, that doesn’t mean everyone else does.
So show me that you mean it, people. Buy a PS4 or a PS3 to show microsoft that we will not accept this. Show everyone that good can come out of money being power every once in a while. And if you’re going to complain and buy a new xbox, then stop complaining. You revoke any rights to the moment you give them money. So i don’t want to hear it from people like you.
Yeah.. You sons of bitches!
I go on pennyarcade a little now and then to check out the extra credits guys. Pretty sure i’ve recommended them in the past. To put it briefly, for those not in the know, they’re a group of three people (One of them being a professional videogame designer) who make videos about various subjects as they relate to videogames (For the most part, sometimes, they out right make political videos, mailbag videos, etc). It ranges from things such as psychology (Skinner box and videogames, the uncanny valley and videogames) and culture (Violent videogames, sexism in videogames), and so much more.
Sometimes, i do have a lot of concessions to the things that they say there. Like the episode about politics, which in my opinion, was too liberally slanted. But i’m not here to write about that, i’m here to write about their latest videos. A two-parter about videogames and religion.
Just to maybe quell the fire that these videos has produced, i want to point out that they clearly stated in the first two minutes of the first video that it’s by no means the best way to look at the subject of religion in videogames. It’s just how they view it, and i think for the most part, they’re well on the right track.
Like their first point, about lore in videogames. I can’t really find any issues here what so ever. Mythology is pretty fucking awesome, and it does resonate with us, all these stories that has survived so many years of human history. The Illiad, the various stories in the bibile
The Quran which mentions Jesus a lot. So many cool things, really. And if games would just expand on the religious lore some more, i think we would see some pretty awesome stories. I mean, why leave out that part of fiction, just because some people believe some of it to be true? Take it for what it is, and make a great game around it, i say. And not just in the shallow way that would, like they say in the video, only provoke tangential learning. But in a more meaningful way. Wish i could point to a great example, but i think they’re right in saying that there really isn’t one.
This is where most people are gonna have issues, i feel.. know.
Because they dared to say that Religion brings us together. More specifically, “ways that religion brings us together”. And i think the underlying thing about their comments on the mechanics part, is that they are a little too roseie about religion. As if there’s equally positive and negative sides to religion.
Although i have to admit that religion isn’t all bad, i think it could be argued that it’s mostly a force for bad. But i’m not interested in making that argument today, as i want to move along to the part i do want to go more in dept on. So let’s leave this subject for now.
I think the feelings that they’re trying the equate to “faith” should be referred to as “religious experiences”, “Zen” and/or spirituality. I don’t think the simple act of taking something on faith is really that noble thing they’re trying to describe; but rather, it’s the religious experiences, or spirituality. Which i agree with them on. We can all experience that, even if we’re very skeptical.
So really, my issue is just the terminology and i think it’s the mayor part of the backlash, is that they didn’t adequately explain it (Not that i have any delusions of being the one to correct them. I’m just pointing out how i see it, and it’s just my opinion on the matter)
And the other thing that they use the word faith for, which i have some issues with, is when talking about subjectivity and human beings. They bring up such things as “what if we’re just a part of a matrix” or “cogito ergo sum”. Which are valid points, and even here, i agree with them. When it all comes down to it, we can only look at things from a subjective view point. Anyone who knows anything about the electromagnetic spectrum knows just how blind our senses are, and the knowledge of all the science of the universe and all that, really doesn’t help that much in giving us a more objective point of view. They bring up how people are so sure about things like Newtonian physics, yet it does nothing to explain the subatomic world.
But yea.. Subjectivity should have been mentioned instead, and spirituality (For instance) would have been a more accurate term in the first point they made. Instead, they opted to say “faith” instead. Would explaining this better really help though? Would it stop all these people from getting mad at them?
Of course not. Apart from being very.. liberal when explaining the impact religion has had on our culture (Not that this should bother anyone, seeing as they didn’t mean anything bad by it. They just wanted to get to the meat of the topic, not explain shit just to apeace maybe a few rambunctious urchins), they also dared to compare the ignorance that exists within religion to the ignorance of even the smartest scientsts. Which triggers the general fanbase of science. Because they have attached their ego to it, and they’ve made sure to put themselves far above the religious, because they with their lingo brains are so obviously better than those damn dogmatic, religious scum.
That’s how i look at it at least. Have i really made my point about their videos? I agree with what they’re saying, i just don’t think they formulated themselves very well (Like i said, not that i’m much better). And my attack on those who get upset at people saying those things. The science fans, so to speak. They’re just fanboys. There’s nothing else you can really say. When someone has attached their ego to something, it’s really hard to say anything without upsetting them. So an obvious overreaction on their part.
You hear this term a lot if you’re a videogame goer who uses youtube to watch videogame videos. But what does it really mean? Is there a way to define it? Let’s find out!!
In defining what a “let’s play” is, we must first look at a few things. First of, what people refer to it as, and how it’s used. Second, to look at what can be inferred from the term. And third, try to look for any official source that defines it. If there even is such a thing.
Keep in mind that i’m just some schmuck who knows nothing about nothin’. So take it for what it is.
Videos labeled “let’s play”
To me, it seems that people will use the term”let’s play” in their videos to essentially mean a very loose walkthrough of a game, that focuses more on the individual and the individual’s relation to the game, than it does the game itself.
Some people do it better than others, but no matter what, it will always be some kind of playthrough, be it only playthrough in the sense the game gets completed. They’ll always include someone talking over it. Never in the way that you’d expect from a guide, but rather, someone talking more loosely, sometimes not even about the game.
The spirit of it
It’s in the name: Let’s play!
Let us play! Let’s just pick up the controller, and play some games. Let’s relax and just do it! At it’s core, i would say that a let’s play is just someone or some people sitting down, playing a game while talking. That’s basically what a let’s play is.
But a lot of people do more than that. Some decide to include an entire guide section to their videos, and some look up info on the game to tell about, and some even 100% the games, rendering it a perfect walkthrough.
So even if the spirit of it is to just play it and not bothering with the walkthrough part so much (Unless you’re a living walkthrough, like i know a lot of you nerds are), there still is a huge subsection of people that are accepted as let’s players, and label their videos “Let’s plays”, who focus a lot on the walkthrough part, and really, do walkthroughs along-side the personal commentary.
Another thing that sets it apart from pure walkthroughs
Walkthroughs of games often include extensive editing for the perpose of just including the parts that explains how to get through, or solve parts of the game. While a let’s play does ligther editing usually to break the monotony of grinding/retreading old ground/or seeing the same enemies (If it’s an RPG). Some let’s players don’t even do that very often, and tend to feel guilty when doing it, due to it not being very “let’s play like”. Which again proves (For the lack of a better word) my point of the spirit of let’s playing.
There is a wikipedia article on it which explains it in very simple terms http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Let%27s_Play_(video_gaming) Someone recording while playing a game and commentating over it.
Other definitions i found were outdated, and talked about picture walkthroughs. Basically the origin of the term. Although i can debate and argue the legitimacy of “the origin”, i will just assume it’s true for now, seeing as it doesn’t matter.
In either case, i don’t think it’s what most people refer to it as anymore, and my reasons for thinking that is the wikipedia article and the fact that the popular among let’s players do the whole recording and commentating thing. So yea, it’s outdated, from what i could find outside of the wikipedia article.
I don’t know if i’ve made any sense in this article at all. But in case it didn’t make sense, here’s a quick summary of what i mean: Basically, a let’s play is a more loose form of walkthroughs of a videogame, which will be more inclusive of the player, rather than just explaining how to complete individual parts of the entire game.
I’ve been using the word “walkthrough” to mean guide in this post. Even though all you can infer from a walkthrough is that you’ll walk through the game. Which is in actuality more loose than Let’s playing. But in practice, i’ve noticed that “walkthrough” is usually what you say when you mean guide.
I could be wrong on everything here, like i said earlier, but at least i got to write down something a little more extensive than what’s out there, and hopefully spark up something in another person who can actually do more research, and who knows more about it than i do.
Maybe i am just reading too much into it though. It really doesn’t matter if you think about it. In this day and age, terms can change meaning very quickly, so i guess there’s no point in trying to define a term that refers to something so young that no one else can truly define anyway.