It’s been about two weeks since i looked myself in the mirror, and i can honestly say that i’ve been feeling better for not doing it. I should probably try to confront myself at some point, though. After all, it’s less than a week left until i have a meeting with my therapist. My transition process will finally continue.
As for that video. I’ve been pondering about it a lot, and i feel it would probably be better without a script, and if i changed my approach to it. Instead of trying to find nostalgia, melancholy or bitterness; where none of it can be found, i should just try to be above my past self. Because this honestly isn’t something i really care about that much any more. And i want that fact to be apparent in the video.
I was sick earlier too. So the video got postponed because of that. Had a lot of fun just relaxing with some wind waker SD on my gamecube.
Two days ago, i was recommended a soundtrack from a friend (Jocelyn. I’ve mentioned her a few times before). We were talking about epic songs and how we both love rock music. Fast forward a day later: I’m told that my appointment was canceled, and i’m bummed.. Majorly so. But in the second half of yesterday, i gave the Bravely default soundtrack a proper listen, and it helped me immensely to get over my depression (That, and talking to Jocelyn about it).
Fast forward to now. I’ve listened to one of the best song’s i’ve heard in a veeeery long time, about 30 times now. And i’m telling you. It took me 20 listens to get over the goosebumps i kept getting. That’s how good it is! I mean, i’ve listened to songs on repeat a lot in the past, but never have i really had something like this for one song. Sure, for the whole album of Dream theater’s Metropolis part 2, i had goosebumps after many repeat listens. But never for any one song.
So here i am right now, just raring to share a bunch of epic songs. So why don’t i start with the song that i keep mentioning?
I refuse to think that the creators of the Bravely Default soundtrack aren’t fans of Dream theater. At the very least, they must have been an inspiration on some level (And considering that DT is big in Japan, it wouldn’t be too hard to believe). This song illustrates that DT inspiration more than any other:
I’m guessing this next one is a 2nd to final boss. Or final boss, first form:
And that’s more like an orchestra:
And there are plenty other fantastic songs in that sountrack. I strongly recommend you check it out if you’re a fan of videogame music and rock.
So here are a few more epic songs, just to collect them:
Just about any old school nightwish song, really.
A sample from Octavarium, sporting a pretty funny, almost DCMC-esque animation:
Anyhow. I’d be here all day. But these are some of my favorites. Anyone reading this has any good epic songs they’d like to share?
I just got done playing skies of arcadia for the second time. And damn is that a great game. Few games captures the essence of what an adventure is, like that one. Sure, it has its glaring problems that just hasn’t aged too well these days, and it can be very cheesy at times. But it’s an overall pleasant, grand (Seriously, it’s over 40 hours long) and fulfilling experience, in my book.
I first played it about 7 years ago. The reason why i remember it so well is because at the time, i was stuck at home, with -1 face. It was a early pre-snow winter morning like any other, and i was taking the bike to school, like i always do. Not even one minute of biking later, a car appeared, forcing me to make a sharp turn to avoid it. A sharp turn on slippery ice. Naturally, i fell. Normally, when i fall on my bike, it’s nothing serious at all. The worst that happens is that i get bruises on my arm. But this time, i must not have been so lucky. Because half my face was basically destroyed, i broke some bones on my left hand, and my lips were busted. So i had to take the better part of a month to heal before going back to school. During this time, i could hardly eat, and i didn’t want to go outside, looking the way i did, all bandaged up.
So what were i to do? Well, i booted up skies of arcadia, for the first time. My little brother had gotten it around that time for his game cube (Along with Luigi’s mansion and super mario sunshine). Now, it wasn’t the first time i had ever seen the game. I had watched a full playthrough of the game a few years before playing it. Back when i would often watch my big brother play games. He played the dreamcast version back when.
But anyway. I really enjoyed the time i had in it. It’s not a game i’ll go back to anytime soon. I mean, it’s just too slow paced to be played regularly. So, i’m sorry, but it’s not going to go into my anual list. Like golden sun (Which is the superior game) or any number of Zelda games. But maybe one day, i will pick it up again. When my memories of it has faded, and i feel the itch for an adventure again.
In today’s post:
A game called journey. Employment office part 2. Jogging today, all days. Borderlands 1-2 briefly. Things to do. And steam’s “big picture”.
I still haven’t called the school to make it official, i haven’t sent in my broken computer part and i haven’t gone down to the employment offices to re-enroll. I guess it could wait until next week. Maybe.
I played borderlands 1 on my brother’s big TV he has at his house today. It’s pretty great! He can’t have the graphics settings on highest like i can on my big PC, but it looks awesome either way. The game is just amazing. It just occurred to me and my brother that we’ll start borderlands 2 one day after i have been to the expert (Which is what i’ll call her, because i can’t spell psychiatrist, and i hate looking it up), who told me she would see what she can do about the pills for my anxiety. So that’ll be interesting. I mean, if i can go on for at least a month without having this irrational shit stress, i’ll be more than happy.
I watched my brother play a game called Journey today! And damn does that game look good in uncompressed HD graphics. And they spent so much time making the environment so fucking beautiful! The game is amazing, and i can’t believe it exists. The amount of polish that game had is astounding. To me, putting a lot of focus on environment and making something really aesthetically pleasing, should be a standard practice.
Journey… I couldn’t recommend it more. Buy it now. It’s on the PS3 only (sadly).
So yea.. I’ll be staying with my brother until at least this friday. So that’ll be fun, i think!
Oh, and before i forget. I’ve decided to start jogging. So far, i’ve done it today and yesterday.
I guess i’ll just be a lazy twonk, and then see if i can’t get the computer part sent to be repaired.
Steam’s “big picture”
So i’m guessing this was their “hardware plans”? A little disappointing in that respect. Although it is a good idea, and a step in the right direction.
In today’s post: Programming, looking for home, provincial rape and a rather slender man.
Making: Music program – day 2
A late blog post for the first time in ages. It’s about 11pm right now. I’ve always written it around 8pm – 9pm before. But hey! It’s always nice writing later as well.
The reason why this one’s late is because i’ve been trying to find a way to draw a PNG file to a HDC buffer. With little success so far. I fear i will have to use some wrapper after all. I haven’t tried if GTK+ integrates with windows yet though. Probably won’t, and i’m not sure if i want to try. Oh, and the GTK+ thing fell through because i found that getting web capabilities through that would make it slow. Take it like this. For each step, the program gets slower:
Binary -> Machine code -> Assembler -> High level language (C++) -> Wrapper -> Scripting language for wrapper -> Script to add web capabilities.
What i want to use is this:
Binary -> Machine code -> Assembler -> High level language (C++) -> Native windows (GDI).
But it seems i will have to just settle for a wrapper on top of windows instead. I’m sure the new version of the GDI API (Application programming interface for windows native code) that was released with windows 7 is able to put PNGs though. Maybe with the help of some libraries and Alphablended bmp blitting, or something..
Like i said, i’m kind of trying to find a good way to do it.
Here’s an unfinished mockup/preview of how i want the program to look. The window at the bottom rolls up and down depending if you have the mouse at the bottom (Or top, if you’d rather have that) of the screen. So you can do that to easily play music.
As soon as i’ve figued this one out, i won’t have much problem with anything else.
I called up the welfare place today!! They said that i should find an appartment, and come back to them. So they can approve the price. Very good news, in other words. So tomorrow, i’ll sign up for “bollnäs bostäder”, and start looking for a place to live!
I got news today that told of a woman who had been brutally raped and is now at the hospital. The two men who did it even stole her phone. Hopefully, it was a modern one, so you can track them down.
I talk about this because.. Well, it happened in the middle of the city. It’s the first time i’ve really felt “I could have done something about it”. I mean, yea. I live far from there, but my brother lives like, 50 steps from it. If i had chosen to stay at his place this week, i might have been awake at the time when it happened, and i could have stopped it. Obviously not my fault or anything, but it feels so surreal this time, because it was so close. I feel incredibly sorry for the woman who got raped, and it’s been on my mind the whole day.
We had the first thunderstorm of the summer today. Left the place very cold. It’s cold outside right now.
Still playing a lot of Mario Kart 7. I’ve been thinking of going to super mario 3d land though. Hehe! My brother talked about getting me some more games too. He said that he wanted to get some games he wanted to play. Haha!
Friday tomorrow. So i guess i’ll have myself something delish to eat.
Talking about future though. When i get my own place, i will start changing my life around for real! Like my mom and little brother is going to stop smoking now.. A lot of good change to come in the near future, that’s for sure.
For the first time in a long time, i actually have something to look forward to.
So.. PeteDorr on youtube uploaded this thing:
Damn, that game is creepy. I probably wouldn’t be able to play it. But well worth checking out the videos though. You’ve been warned though.
Like i said i would.. 5 and 6 done! Of the training! One time this morning and a few minutes ago. Feels great. No more procrastinating or bad planning now though! Tomorrow will be one week since i started it. I should find some better way to keep track of how many times i’ve done it though. Because i always go back on the blog to check! Haha.
Anyway.. Where to start.. I haven’t done much today. Cleaned my room, did some chores. And that’s about it in terms of the real world.
I played a bunch of dungeon village this morning, and i just looove it so far. My town is lv 2 out of 5 right now. Will write my final thoughts on it as soon as i’m done with it. Feels like i game you’d want to play more than once too. So that’s always great.
I was chatting with someone on twitter about responsibility, and i realized that i was in the wrong. She convinced me that she was right. I’m not going to go into specifics. It’s all on my twitter in case anyone’s curious. LittleJennaIsMe. It wasn’t mean spirited or anything. Just a shorter conversation about it. I honestly hadn’t really thought about the issue before. But i feel a little ashamed that i didn’t think it through before opening my damn mouth. It’s that sort of rashness that i have to get rid of. I don’t like it when i do it. When i do, i am by default, a person i feel that i don’t want to be. That is how i view this flaw of mine at least.
It also got me down closer to earth.. Because it made me truly think that “Yes, i am not all that smart”. And yea. It is possible that all i think is wrong. Maybe it’s like that Weird Al
I guess how i should explain it is that it was humbling. Because another flaw i know i have is that i can get too carried away with myself… Again… If i just think things through more…
She’s a very smart woman who i have followed for a long time now. Knows a lot about politics, human relations, philosophy and other such things. My knowledge of most things i ever talk about is purely layman knowledge of a autodidact.
Except.. Programming! Therein lies my expertise. Whether i like it or not. I did some scripting today on youtube. I was thinking of making something proper, that could open videos much faster, and in a manner which i prefer. I’ll show you what i mean as soon as it’s done. Shouldn’t take too long. I made some good functions like that on an earlier script i made for youtube, but decided to just re-write it. Old code is something i just can’t stand.
I was thinking earlier that my next game should be live-a-live. Why not. I’ve seen one single screenshot of it, know next to nothing about it, and lot of the stars are aligned for it to be a wonderful experience. I’m hoping that it’ll be at least somewhat akin to my experience with Chrono trigger, of which i knew even less about going into it initially. But yea. That’ll be good.
Then i should also get back to reading. But i almost feel like my days aren’t long enough. I value spending time with people much more now. Which is understandable, considering where i put myself earlier due to neglecting my own life, and everyone around me. I never want to travel that road again..
Hey, i guess my day wasn’t all that bad. I was feeling like taking the bike and go to a nearby lake on the other side of a mountain… But since i still have some coughs and still isn’t feeling the best i can, i figured i shouldn’t make it worse. So i guess i have to let it wait for the later part of this coming week.
Tomorrow… I should get some job applying stuff done. Still in a “I hope i got in” mood, so i’m kind of in a suspension on the job searching at the moment. At least mentally. I sure as heck hope i’ll get into school. What else is going on tomorrow? Nothing much, really. Just another lazy summer day, i suppose. Oh yea.. I should probably write a little about my younger years compared to my current years tomorrow. Because i had a very strange feeling when i thought about how long ago it was since i turned 18 today. But that’s for tomorrow. I’m already up at around 800 words now. Which is a very long post for me.
Saw this fun little fan video of Majora’s mask today too. Great one!