Tag Archive | deviantart

Rain, the story of a transsexual, turns 3 years!

I just wanted to make it known to everyone, that the comic “Rain” has reached the 3-year milestone!

3_years_of_rain_by_jocelynsamara-d6w2uu0

http://jocelynsamara.deviantart.com/art/3-Years-of-Rain-416678040

The art is good, the story is good; but you know what is the most amazing thing to me about this comic? That it’s been going steady for three straight years. That is, it hasn’t encountered indefinite hiatuses, it hasn’t waned in quality! For three long years! That alone deserves a medal.

Here’s the quote to her thoughts on the achievement:

You know, I always wanted to do a comic.  And I mean, long before I started writing Rain.  Before it was even a thought in my mind.  The concept of a webcomic in particular offered a medium with which I could tell a story to the world, without having to impress some publishing company.  I could go at my own pace to tell my story the way I want without having to bend to the whims of some so-called expert saying, “nobody wants to read a story about that.”

The thing is, I was always afraid I was too ambitious.  I was afraid my ideas wouldn’t catch on and no one would be interested.  Or I was afraid that I’d start, but then get discouraged or bored or sidetracked or lazy and just drop it (as I have with pretty much every other writing attempt prior to Rain).  I’ve watched it happen with so many of my favorite webcomics, and I didn’t want to be just another quitter.  And these fears held me back for a long time.  Much in the same way, my fears held me back from starting transition until very recently.

But here we are.  It’s been three years now since the first page went up.  The readership is far more vast than I’d ever anticipated.  And people not just read, but appreciate my work.  Some people say they have had their lives changed by it!  It means so much to me.  I don’t even have words for it.  What I have with Rain, I could never have predicted.  And I have every single person who has ever read this to thank for it.
It was life-changing for me.  I’ve learned a lot about the world, about myself, and about others like me since starting.  I’ve started transition since the beginning of Rain, and I think writing this has been a bit of transition in and of itself into a serious writer.  Because despite my prior fears, I’ve never felt burnt out with this story.  I’ve never gotten bored.  I’ve never dared to miss an update (excluding planned, announced hiatuses with planned, announced returns).  I’ve had some new story ideas, but nothing that actually took away from this one.  I would never dream of doing anything other than writing this to very end (which has many years left in it).  And it’s all because I have you: devoted readers of all ages, genders, orientations, etc. from all over the world.
So thank you.  For helping me grow as a person, as a woman and as a writer, so I can continue to produce the best work I am capable of.
I love you all so much!  Have an amazing day!

The effort has definitely payed. To this day, she’s been mentioned in a few big LGBT networks, accrued plenty of fans… and there’s no sign of it stopping! I feel that, in the next year, we’re going to see this reach the mainstream of all the LGBT forums!

Here’s to another year! I’m proud of you, my friend! You’ve done a great job so far, and you deserve all the recognition and success in the world!

April 1st recap

I’ve come to really enjoy april 1st. All thanks to the internet, really. Back in the day, you were forced to suffer through tasteless pranks, but now, you get pretty funny jokes instead:

Google nose ― http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/nose/


Minecraft 2.0 ― http://mojang.com/2013/04/its-finally-coming-minecraft-2-0/

DeviantHEART ― http://www.deviantart.com/deviantheart/?utm_source=deviantart&utm_medium=header&utm_campaign=040113_MKT_deviantHEART

deviantHEART

 

Youtube shutting down ―  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H542nLTTbu0

More coming..?

Epiphany. To all transsexuals and everyone else

I’ve had these thoughts nibbling away at me the past few days.. and perhaps even the past few years. And i feel that i’m in a stage where i can express them and externalize them. So i’m going to do that now.

For a longer time than i would like to admit, i’ve been worried about everything. More specifically, i worry about friends. I have difficulties keeping friends. And i know why. It’s because i worry too much. I worry that i’m going to lose them. I worry that they’ll feel bad about me, that they’re going to think less of me, that they’re not having a good time being with me. All these fears and worries i have. One person that comes to mind is Jocelyn. I’ve talked about her a lot on this blog as of late, and i adore her a lot. But i’ve had all these fears about her. THat she’s going to become a radical feminist, where she thinks that she’s been blind her whole life, and that she’s not seen all the harassment she’s going through 24/7. Or that she’ll become so popular that she’ll forget about all the fun interactions we’ve had, and the experiences we’ve shared with one another.

Sadly, i can’t really call her a friend. I’ve never met her. I call her an internet friend, and i would like to change it to friend. Someone who i can be there for, someone who can be there for me. Someone to have fun with. Someone to do stuff with. But what’s going to happen if i worry a lot, that she’ll just start ignoring me? What does that say about me? On an intellectual level, i need to be able to say to myself: What is wrong with you, woman? What on the holy earth that is this planet, are, you, worried, about?? That things are going to go STRAIGHT to the toilet, never to be seen again!
And i have got to stop that. I have got to stop worrying. Of course i’m always going to want to be able to share stuff with Jocelyn and all the other friends i have to. But if i worry to lose them all the time, guess what? It’s going to end up being true. A person’s worries about these sorts of things always shines right through them. No matter how hard he or she is trying to hide it. And until i can overcome these feelings, i will never be able to keep a good friend. I will be forever alone.

And another thing is that i need to stop being so negative all the time. I need to stop worrying about things that are outside of my reach. I need to. I need, i need, i need… That’s another thing. Stop being egocentric. It’s not about my needs. It’s just about being a good person. Just be yourself, to your best ability, and stop worrying, and stop thinking about who you dislike, and all of that nonsense. It’s a rabbitwhole that leads NOWHERE! And you need to stop chasing down it. Just dig yourself out of it, and stop whining!

So.. I finally, after months of feeling horrible, managed to buy myself some more makeup. Which will be fun. And that’s what it needs to be about. The good things in life.

IMG_20130306_200522

It might seem small, but it feels big to me. This is to all the transsexuals out there: Be strong. Summon up the courage i know you have inside of you. Do what you know is right, and do it at your own pace. Stay strong.

And to the rest of you. Heed my advice. Don’t be a dumb shit (To quote Timothy Bishop). Life is too short to worry and to limit yourself only to yourself. Live life to its fullest. You know as well as i do that you can reach that full life.

Take care everybody. And thank you for reading.

Milotic is a transgender? Pokémon supports the transgender community?

Milotic is a transsexual pokémon? Is there truth to it? Is Milotic’s exterior a reference to the transgender flag? Does the fact that it’s ugly first, and beautiful later indicative of a story you’ll hear from any transsexual?
Or is all this just yet another wily theory that could never be proven? Why don’t you stick around and find out. I’ve got the analysis the answers, the whole shebang.

The pokémon is a series known for its punny (There will be puns.. lots of puns) humor and cheap jokes. Usually, the idea behind a pokémon doesn’t go beyond a simple mythological reference (Gyrados, Lucario), animal design (Squirtle = Squirrel + turtle.. Fucking genius!), thing (Magnamite.. grimer. Garbodor?)

569Garbodor
What the..

But a woman by the name of Jocelyn seem to think that there’s something special about Milotic. After all, it’s the only one who has the possibility of evolving through eating puffins, and its design does appear very transgender-esque, wouldn’t you say?

350Milotic

TRANSGENDER

The hypothesis

Well, i’m not going to hold off any longer, let’s see her theory on why she thinks Milotic is a reference to the transgender community/a transgender.

milotic___the_transsexual_pokemon_by_jocelyncd-d5she6c

She begins with the fact that feebas begins as a helpless, ugly pokémon. This statement could never hold its own. Because a lot of people feel this way. It’s not exclusive to transsexuals. It’s too broad a statement to really mean anything. It includes a group of people, that transsexuals fall into, but isn’t exclusive in.

Difficulty to locate means that it’s too afraid to show itself, because (And it’s as if emulating) “many pre-transition transsexuals don’t fit in well with most other people, and tend to distance themselves since it’s socially unacceptable for them to be who they wish to be”. I could name a few other reasons why it might be distancing itself.

  • Because it’s a weak fish
  • Because its face is ugly

And.. I know this is metaphorical. But the metaphor could might as well be that it’s an introvert by nature, and just doesn’t want to show itself. I think what they were going for was that it’s ugly and doesn’t like to be seen. To say that as anything else is to fill in blanks, and i don’t buy that. Sure, it’s something that comes with if it’s proven to be true at the end, that Milotic is supposed to represent transgender, but on its own, it means nothing. You can’t discern all that from this simple thing.

To digress a bit on the subject of confirmation bias. There are groups of feminists out there who sees mysogony in everything. They’re so enamored with the idea that there’s a patriarcy out there to put down ever single woman, that they see woman hating in everything. And i think there is some of that in this theory. You’re a transgender, so you’ll have an easier time seeing that in things. A Christian sees Mary in a sandwich. Humans see gods, the deieties that created the universe, as a human.. Or we see faces in bushes, and other patters we’re used to seeing. If i was a huge bleech fan, i could see bleech in pokémon like Shedinja, and make arguments as to why they were inspired by that series in the design of that pokémon. Or if i liked MLP, i could say that the meet the pyro video was inspired by it. I mean, just look at all the colors and stuff. Isn’t it obvious?
And that’s what confirmation bias is.

This next one is really interesting. Because Feebas is the only one that can evolve in such a way. It can also evolve using a prism scale in later games.
Prior to writing this, i took some time reading up on all the things surrounding Milotic, and i couldn’t find anyone who theorized that it was a repsentation of transgender. What i came up with was that Milotic is based on an Oarfish (If they wanted to make a transsexual reference, they could have made a clownfish pokémon. That would make far more sense. But even then, it would just be a reference to a clown fish) and i could find no reference to transgender and Oarfish. So no luck there. It also said that it could be a reference to sirens, which i could see. Also, a loch ness monster reference.. But i think lapras fits that description a little better.

Then i checked out the name of it. But that only seemed to refer to its beauty and healing powers. Which the pokémon is described as having (And does have in terms of moves). One more far reaching theory of the name was “Venus de milo”, which represents beauty, and it has no arms. No matter what i found on this aspect, i couldn’t really find anything linking it to transgender. Which they could have done, seeing as greek myth has the story of “Lesbos”.. Like.. Let’s say they wanted to make a reference to lesbian/homosexuality, they’d make an all female pokémon, and base it on something from the island of Lesbos. Or something. But no, i had no luck finding any such references. I did try though.

Anyway. Beauty puffins as hormones? Seeing as i couldn’t find any links to milotic and transgender, this seems kind of weird. I mean, sure, it was the only one that could evolve that way, but it didn’t (If i may read more into this) make other pokémon unhappy (Which it should do) and it wasn’t exclusive to feebas.

And the prism scale? Some pokémon evolve with metal coat, some with king’s rock, and some with other forms of items. All i’m saying is that there’s nothing special with it evolving with this item. It’s just one of many. Unless i’ve missed something here. I mean, sure, you could see it as change of wardrobe, and i see your point, but it’s just yet another case of confirmation bias, i think.
Then the trading sequence as “The channels we need to go through”. Again, it’s not unique to Milotic. I think that, if they really wanted us to suspect that they meant something more with something, they would have made this something unique to that pokémon. But as i’ve already pointed out, the only unique thing about this pokémon is the puffin feeding.

And lastly, she says that “incidentally, Milotic’s palette is made up solely of three colors..”. This is not true, and is a fact you find in platinum, BW1/BW2.

Its lovely scales are described as rainbow colored. They change color depending on the viewing angle.

In conclusion

I saw a lot of confirmation bias in this one, and that’s coming from someone with this bias herself (I really wanted to think there was something to this. Which is why i’m sitting still awake, early in the morning, writing and studying this).
But when all is said and done, i could be wrong. Maybe it was meant to be taken as a transsexual going through the process that we go through. But like i’ve explained, there’s really no reason to think that. It really does look like they just went with a from ugly to beautiful thing with this pokémon.
I would like to have it confirmed though. Denied or not.

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_de_Milo
http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Milotic_(Pok%C3%A9mon)

Original post
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oarfish

Done and done, and transsexual talk

Finally got done with the last bit of unpacking and stuff today. So aside from a few things i’m going to buy later, i am officially moved in now. Took me a little less than a week.

So.. What’s coming up? Honestly, right now, i don’t feel too inspired. Kind of depressed at my hair, in all honesty. It looks horrible, and i can’t make it look good no matter what i do. I’ve heard that a lot of women wear extensions, so i guess i should give that a shot. Heck, Riki Lindholm said at one point that half her hair is extensions. Which would explain why it’s so lustrous. So maybe that will be my answer, until i can do the surgery to fix my hair. I know a lot of transsexuals do that.

Feels great having my own place though. For once. A friend of mine wrote a pretty depressing page on her comic today. You know, now that i finally live at my own place, i could record a video of me talking about it instead of me writing about it. Anyway. I think i’ve written about the comic before. It’s called “Rain”, and it’s about a transsexual going through life as a school girl. It’s really good, and i recommend checking it out.

SPOILER, by the way (The page is too good not to link here):

rain_p279___flashbacks_by_jocelyncd-d5o1liw

Next week, i’m going to focus on getting some new clothes and what not. I also want to pierce my ears so i can start wearing earrings. I promised myself i would do that. I feel that i had something else to write about, but this is all i can really think about.

I guess i’ll think about starting the video making sometimes next week too. Feeling a bit excited. Oh, and it’s almost xmas too. About 9 days here in Sweden. If you’ll excuse me, i’m off to take a little walk and listen to some George Carlin.

Leaving the pink garden

I say good bye to my pink garden to go visit friends and relatives, who live far beyond the thorns of the garden. Thorns that grow and consume the land surrounding it, making it span far across the land. Still, my friends and family live far away from it.
While driving, i looked in my rear view mirror to see the thorns at a distance. As i came closer and closer to my destination, the thorns became less and less distinguishable from anything else, as it disappeared into the horizon. To think that i used to fear it. To think that i used to let it consume the pink garden, once, long ago. It all seem so trivial now, in retrospect. It will always exist and be an issue for someone, but it no longer pesters me.

Once i got to my family and friends, it had already become sundown. You could see the clouds form pink as the sun was setting. I stepped out of my car and walked to the front door of my parents’s house. They said that they would all meet me there. My friends, parents, siblings.. I hadn’t said anything special, nor was anything of significance going to happen that night. But they all knew that it would be the last time. The last time that i would set afoot inside of that house. Not the i that is me, but the i that once was me. The ‘i’ that is struggling for its life, trying to survive. The ‘i’ that is telling me to sit down and be quiet. The ‘i’ that is telling me to stop.
I think it’s called Jante. “Well, i’m sorry, Jante, but i’m done with you. You were never welcome, and it’s a shame that i even had to know you in the first place”. That night would be the last time he told me to do anything.

I stepped into my parents house, and was greeted with friendly faces who were all eager to hear what i might say.
The darkness slowly wrapped its warm blanket upon the land, and sundown became night. I had spilled my soul everywhere that night, as well as a few tears. Tears of both joy and sadness.
As i got ready to leave, one of my oldest friends met me half way to my car, where i had parked it. He asked me if he was ever going to see me again. I explained to him that life has a lot of intertwining paths, and that ours would cross multiple times. Because even though mine will change color, texture and material, it will still act as the road that i’ve always walked on. It will just look different.

~Written by Jenna G, as a tribute to my good friend, Jocelynn.

Day 137: Obama is a socialist!1one

In today’s post:
psychiatrist report. A lot of new clothes? Obama is a socialist and ignorant bastards

Today

Today was the day! I went to the psychiatrist for the first time, and it was great. She was a very nice person, and felt so great getting thoughts out, and some advice on how to contain my anxiety, and some more info on how and why i feel this way. So a lot of great info i’ll be using to get by.

Then i also talked about my transsexual issues, which was great. She said that she would try to find some info on where i should turn to start my transition, since she’s not really qualified for it. So that’s awesome! Then i may be getting some medication for my anxiety issues too. But we’ll have to see how that goes.

All in all, i got a lot of help, and it feels great. I got a new time in two weeks from now.

Later today, i heard my sister talk about how she’s going to go through her old clothes and discard some.. I figured i’d ask her tomorrow if i could inherit (For the lack of a better word) them.

Lastly, my brother and i spent some time talking about stuff. I’m going to sleep at his place next week.

Tomorrow

No plans.

Today’s Image/Video

A great picture someone named “Kevinbolk” on deviantart, about people who simply won’t listen to reason.

Candy Kowal

A person who likes to feel feminine and girly at times!

A Dose of Buckley

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My Island in Me

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