Short post today! First of, i started following my big sister on wordpress! One of my siblings finally started something creative on the web for once. Everyone else kind of avoids it!
And yes! I got a new dress! Like i’ve said before. This might seem like a small thing. But for me, it’s a step towards my normalcy (I’ll explain that in more detail later). It’s a frilly dress that’s more lightweight than the other one i got. No straps (Only my bra straps).. And it’s awesome! So yay me!
I’ve been neglecting this blog for a while now. It’s just that, as of late, i’ve been able to talk about myself more with others. So the blog just gets a little less useful then. But i’ve been doing some stuff that i wanted to share on here, so here goes!
I got a new dress a few days ago.. Or rather, i got my first dress! And i feel so proud of myself, to have been able to go to a store to buy my clothes for once. Before, i always went online, or to second hand shops (Which i don’t consider the same). So now i’ve finally taken that step, where i’m comfortable buying stuff for myself. ^w^
I remember promising myself back when i was a about 12, that i would not buy any boys clothes ever! That i would buy women’s clothing only. My mom always got me the guys clothes that i have now (Me having a big family and all), so i had the luxery of waiting this long. Gotta say though. It feels great wearing a summer dress during summer! Makes you enjoy summer more, to be honest!
Here’s a picture:
I fear a little for my friend. We were having another argument, about videogames as art. And long story short. Of course videogames can be art, i could have expressed myself better, and my argument was only that videogames should become universally considered art. Much like when the watchmen made comics into high art by creating the “visual novel” genre.
But anyway. The argument wasn’t that important. A very silly argument, really. All i really have to say about it is that she shouldn’t get stressed over it. I fear that she has very severe stress issues, and she’s not seeing anyone about it.. So what can i do? She won’t talk to me right now, and quite frankly, i’m just sick of it. Because it comes across as very disrespectful.
So i finally decided to try and look for love. I’ve gotten a lot of answers and PMs from guys. And i don’t know.. A lot of really nice, cute and handsome men on there. I think i kind of like OkCupid! Only issue i have is that you can’t really officially state that you’re a transsexual. It’s either male or female. Which kind of sucks. But oh well. I’ll try it for a few weeks and see what kind of people i’ll be able to meet.
Was postponed. Sadly. By about 2 weeks. So that means i’ll have to wait even longer..
On a positive note, i’ve decided to go full femme when going down to Uppsala next time, to meet with the transsexual experts. So that’ll be fun! (:
Doomsday, still no answer from the experts, almost xmas, Karma, Let’s playing and some future plans! This, and maybe some tangents, in today’s installment of “The world didn’t burn, yaay!1one”. Actually, it’s just yet another blog post from your pal, Jenna.
21st is drawing to its end, and the world just isn’t ending. No moon looming above us
.. no fires, no bombs, no ruins, no missiles, no nothing. Not that i’m disappointed or anything. I like living. All i want to say is that people will always make doomsday, and has been since the early 1800:s. People will continue to believe in doomsdays though, because people are too lazy to look up simple facts about the history of doomsday predictions. Nostradamus-shnamus, i say.
Yes, i totally stole that from jocelyncd on deviantart. But she’s so awesome that her awesome even reached down to my little corner of the internet.
I still haven’t heard from anyone regarding my trans-issues. Last i heard was that the doctor i met earlier in this town sent a remiss or something to stockholm to get ahold of an expert there. I guess all i can do is wait. I mean, it is the holidays now and all, so it’s understandable.
Nothing really new to report on that front.
My sister’s coming over this xmas and will be sleeping at my place, so i think i’ll get a lot off my chest with her company, which is great.. And maybe i’ll even get some beauty tips and stuff. That would be great. I also i think i’ll be ordering some shoes and stuff from a trade site. I’ll show some pics:
A lot of black and stuff. But i have to say that i got lucky with the shoes. I rarely find good looking shoes that can fit my big-ass feet. I have size 40-41.
Oh yes! I got clearance a few weeks ago to post a Q&A i did with Jocelyn last fall, so expect that one someday soon.
Speaking of Jocelyn. I’ve promoted her quite a few times on here, and unless it wasn’t obvious already, i really admire her. She makes me want to try harder, and she gives me a lot of inspirations to be a better person overall. So i feel great about her.
However, she wrote earlier on one of her blog posts that she kinda-sorta-maybe believes in Karma. I wrote a PM to her to ask a little more about it, and being the great person that she is, she responded with a pretty heartfelt story about her childhood. Long story short, i’ll be writing a synopsis/article/analysis on Karma in a few days. So expect that too.
There are a few logical fallacies the other side need to address before it can be taken as fact, and i’m also going to make a case that yes, it actually has to follow logic and prove itself. Just writing it down as “It doesn’t need logic” won’t stand. But more on that later. I have some fact checks i need to do first.
Well. Aside from the Karma post and the Q&A, i’ll be posting a year round-up. With some of my favorite pictures i found this year, some of my favorite videos, and just a lot of linkage. So it should be fun to anyone.
Outside of this blog, i feel very much in the mood to start my very own let’s playing channel. I’ve been waiting long enough to do that, and i’m finally in a position where i can do that. After xmas, i will more than likely start it. Feels exciting. I have some notes i will be taking, about what not to do and all that. Quality will be a priority.
And while i’m making other things, i should probably make that video explaining “my maplestory” or whatever i should call it. I need to look at an old harddrive to see if i can get that one working first, gather some additional resources (Pictures, videos) and write a script. So that will be a lot of fun, and kind of sad too. In a melancholy way. Either way, you guys are going to get to see me, and hear me for the first time! Oh, how manly i will appear.. Oh well. I’ll manage. I’ll change a lot with pills… and.. stuff.. ramble, ramble.
So yes! Let’s playing. I’ve been wanting to do it for over a year now. The major factor to me not doing it sooner has been the fact that i’ve been living with my parents. But i’m not anymore. I’m actually about two weeks into having my own place (Feels great, by the way).
What can i say? I just love it. I love listening to retsutalk, which is the best let’s playing podcast out there. I love watching all the let’s play channels, and i just love games in general. And i hear making let’s plays of games gives you a new perspective on them too. Which should be pretty awesome!
These guys happen to be my favorites at the moment: www.youtube.com/user/SGBLikesToPlay/
As a transsexual, i’ve had to go through getting products intended for men over the years. I think one of the worst things was when i got a spiderman figure that one time as a child. I cried and locked myself into the bathroom.. Not my proudest moments, but it just hurt me. And so does getting “nivea for men” and what not, which is what i got last xmas. Made me very depressed. I basically receded into my room, feeling pissy as all hell. And i bet i’ll get a gift of that nature again this xmas. It may sound petty, and i guess it is to some extent, but it can be really hurtful, i can assure you. I don’t need a reminder of my exterior, and people’s perceived image of me.
Lastly, i’d like to link a few new things i’ve found. Most of them are xmas related. Consider it a xmas present from me to you. For being so kind to check my little blog. Thank you:
I guess that’s that. A little over 1100 words in this here blog post. Sorry for dumping so much on you guys. I promise i will update a little more frequently. It’s just that moving has been quite the project, and it’s made me a bit busy. Glad to have finally been able to get this out of my system now though.
And with that! MARRY XMAS TO YOU ALL, and a happy new year!
Finally got done with the last bit of unpacking and stuff today. So aside from a few things i’m going to buy later, i am officially moved in now. Took me a little less than a week.
So.. What’s coming up? Honestly, right now, i don’t feel too inspired. Kind of depressed at my hair, in all honesty. It looks horrible, and i can’t make it look good no matter what i do. I’ve heard that a lot of women wear extensions, so i guess i should give that a shot. Heck, Riki Lindholm said at one point that half her hair is extensions. Which would explain why it’s so lustrous. So maybe that will be my answer, until i can do the surgery to fix my hair. I know a lot of transsexuals do that.
Feels great having my own place though. For once. A friend of mine wrote a pretty depressing page on her comic today. You know, now that i finally live at my own place, i could record a video of me talking about it instead of me writing about it. Anyway. I think i’ve written about the comic before. It’s called “Rain”, and it’s about a transsexual going through life as a school girl. It’s really good, and i recommend checking it out.
SPOILER, by the way (The page is too good not to link here):
Next week, i’m going to focus on getting some new clothes and what not. I also want to pierce my ears so i can start wearing earrings. I promised myself i would do that. I feel that i had something else to write about, but this is all i can really think about.
I guess i’ll think about starting the video making sometimes next week too. Feeling a bit excited. Oh, and it’s almost xmas too. About 9 days here in Sweden. If you’ll excuse me, i’m off to take a little walk and listen to some George Carlin.
In today’s post:
I’m no longer your school girl. Mental illness. Pinterest is awesome! Quick on girlyban. Somber song as well as a great winter song.
On this warm day, my futile attempt at getting out there was thwarted by my lack of sleep, and unstable mental state. Mom advised against me going to school today, due to my lack of sleep, and proseded to tell me that it’s probably not a good idea to go to school if “you can’t focus anyway”. Which is true, and it’s not like i can do much about the way i feel at the moment. All i can do is to get help for it, and try to step in the right direction which will solve it.
So yea. I’m done. No more school for me. I haven’t made it official yet, but i was thinking of calling them tomorrow to let them know about my plans. I can’t help but to feel a bit disapointed in myself though. I mean, sure, i shouldn’t go around fainting everywhere just so i can socialize and study, but still.. I wish life were simpler than this.
I’m currently enjoying the fan on medium speed, right in my face. Feels great! It was a bit warm today. A summer weather. I started using pinterest seriously today too. It’s so much fun just looking at different clothes and what not! I love it ^w^
My account on there: https://pinterest.com/jennaisme/ What i like the most about it is that i get to indulge in some girly stuff for once.
I learned about some people saying “girlyban” today. People who belong to atheism+, apparently. You just have to sigh at the whole thing. Like a little kid who wants attention, gets it for a while, but eventually, both the kid and the people around him/her will have had enough. I don’t think it’ll last.
But yea. A somber day.
I don’t know about tomorrow. Gonna go to my brother’s place to stay there for a while. And i think after i’m done blogging, i will check pinterest a little, then practice some makeup ^w^!!
This is song explains my mood. How i feel about having to quit school:
It has hope, sadness, moving on, and a few other things.
In today’s post:
More Borderlands. New clothes? Tekkit in minecraft, it has begun. The nerdist podcast network is great. And roller-coaster tycoon.
Been playing borderlands for the most part today. Pretty amped about the second one.
Talked to my big sister today briefly about the appointment i went to yesterday, and i asked her about the clothes she was thinking of throwing out, if i could have them. And she said she was going to think of me when she gets to that. So that’s always good! We’ll see how that turns out.
But yea.. Haven’t done much! Played minecraft briefly, because i set up a new tekkit server for my brother, a friend and him.
Decided to go through “the nerdist podcast” back catalog today, and i found a bunch of great episodes. I really like the nerdist. Such great shows. Highly recommend checking them out!
I should probably be doing some school job. Been postponing it a little too long now. Will probably end up playing more borderlands though.
In today’s post:
Hopeful about the future. New garbs and garments. Jenna, the English expert. Batman review. And much more
I started the day by going down to the employment offices to meet with some guy i was supposed to meet, but never did. But it wasn’t for naught, because i had two reasons of going down there. Yes, i gave them the papers with the signatures from the company i went to a few days ago. They told me to wait, and next time they contact me, i should be getting a date for me to start working. I’m not getting payed, sure, but it’s still work. It’s still obligations and focus on something, other than my pet projects and what not. Which i think will work wonders for my mentality (Especially when i get my own place to live in), even though it’ll probably be very hard at first.
So yea.. I feel pretty… amazed. How, after all this time, good change is coming left and right now. Getting my own place most likely sometimes this year, will get a new source of income, a job to go to, and something i want to talk more about.
I’ve been using a good swedish auctioning site to buy clothes and stuff. So i’m finally getting cute, cheap, and awesome clothing. It’s my first time buying my own clothes, believe it or not. I feel pretty proud that it’s a cute nightgown. I also have one day left on two other auctions. One’s a cute pink skirt and one’s a cute brown bra…
Life is getting better. I think hope has returned to me, and the day when i exclusively wear things i want (I have my reasons for not being able to now) is getting nearer
A few more notable things happened.. Took some test on myriam webster, where i found out that i have the vocabulary of a 40 year old English speaker. Which was fun. Obviously, nothing really definitive, but i think it’s telling, at least. I did when looking up “ne’er”. I always wanted to know how to spell it, and now i do. So that’s great! It’s a very flexible form of the word “Never” that can really save a lot of text space.
Speaking of language, i chatted with crumulent on twitter. Someone i started following yesterday. Had a lot of fun! He’s a fun man. Chatted a little about language and what not. Dragged in Evolution_child too. Fun times on the twitters.
Mom has been playing my 3ds quite a lot lately. She really loves Mario Kart 7. Can’t blame her. That’s an awesome game!
Added some widgets to the blog. Minor changes.
Oh, yea.. And i got a pintrest. Not sure how avidly i’ll use it, considering that it’s slow as hell for me, and the chrome extension i had for it didn’t really work that well. But maybe i could start using it later when all the bugs are ironed out. I had some ideas of storing a bunch of clothes i like on there. But maybe i won’t. Ionno.
Lastly, we finally started the process of getting the big pc, which had a motherboard issue, fixed now.
Hopefully, the nightgown will have arrived in the mail. Can’t wait! I think things sent via the post office has a minimum wait of 2 days, and a max of 5. So i should get it this week, if anything. And hopefully, i’ll win the other ones too.
Then i guess i will be waiting for the answer back from the employment office too. Although, i doubt much will have happened in just 24 hours.
Spill made a very funny short review of Batman the dark knight rises.