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The road most commonly traveled

For a number of years now, i’ve felt less and less inclined to change genders. I don’t know when i decided to put this little deadline on myself, but i decided that this year’s Autumn was the deadline for my decision. The deadline for when i’ve got to take the road most commonly traveled. The deadline for when i have to move on.

I’m not trans! I’m someone who doesn’t really care about gender identity. Not in myself; not in others (On account on me being a bisexual). Now, i could be one of those who feel like this needs a label, but i’d rather just let people perceive me as they wish, because to me, it doesn’t matter. And since it doesn’t matter, why put a label on it? Why should i be concerned about that?

Sex is a binary. You either have a dick or a vagina. But gender is a matter of many things. We’re all on different levels of masculinity and femininity, so it becomes a gradient. A gradient where you don’t mind appearing as a manly viking, but also don’t mind appearing as a girly girl.

I guess what i’m trying to say is that it doesn’t matter to me, so therefor, i’ll just default to the one i have now, so i don’t have to mess around with the many hardships that HRT, speech therapy and SRS brings. And it feels liberating to write this down. I used to think that my anxiety was linked to gender dysphoria, yet i’ve gone around presenting male all this time, and the anxiety has gone down! Of course, that could be a hidden statistic for all i know. Far be it from me to speak authoritatively on psychology and neurology. So like with everything in my life, i have doubts. I always doubt. But that doubt is down to the same level i have of my doubts that i’m just a brain in a jar in a simulation.

In conclusion, i would advice anyone to just do yourself. Right now, i think the way i’m doing me is a winning formula. I’m feeling better, i’m doing KBT, i’m doing all my hobbies, i laugh, i spend time with friends, and most of all, i’m presenting male. And all of it feels good to me. I feel right.
Of course, you can always develop as a human being and life is a constant self-discovery quest.

I’m priviliged

I’m a very privileged person!
 
I’m diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and panic attack disorder! I live in a country where i’m greatly compensated for my mental illnesses, and i’m given more opportunities than most people on the planet! I’ve been given an opportunity to learn how to handle it, and all the help i could possibly want!
 
I’m a bisexual! The country i live in, and my family, is very accepting of it!
 
I’m poor! More than one occasion, i’ve had to live with basically no money. But my family is very good at helping when i’m the most desperate! And here i am, writing this on a top of the line computer that has three screens and one TV plugged into it, an internet connection that’s top of the line! Three phones, a laptop.. The list goes on! Despite my relative poor income, i’ve been very lucky in getting stuff i want! To be able to live as a techie!
 
I’ve got a physical handicap! My knees are extremely weak, and my kneecaps get disjointed very easily! So i have a problem when it comes to moving around! But i’m lucky to have had multiple bikes in my adult life, and a country that makes the infrastructure such, that i’m able to move around with very little issue!
 
My point is that, i would feel extremely horrible if i ever told someone else that they have privilege, just because they’re not handicapped in any way, or they have a sexuality that i don’t have! There are so many ingredients that go into making a person! Looking at the package without finding out what’s inside is something only a fool does! So i wholeheartedly reject any and all post-modern political dogma!
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