Mine’s Jealousy! What’s yours?

This is an issue I’ve been dealing with all my life. For most of it, it’s been a very destructive thing. I’ve ended plenty of friendship due to it. I’ve even gone so far as to shove someone – the closest I’ve ever come to hitting someone – due to jealousy.

My jealousy is always over someone else having the attention, and not me.
These days, when I feel these feelings, I step outside of myself and I see the petty little beast that is my ego and instincts. Such a sad and pathetic little thing.
Why you jumpin’ up and down like that? That ain’t gonna get you anywhere, stupid!

The last few years, I’ve taken that jealousy that converted it into something good. I feel energized. Sure, the same old horrible feeling still persists, but it also fills me with a lot of energy now. It gives me that competitive edge that I’m missing in my life. I feel that I need to work hard or shut the fuck up!
I mean, you honestly think that good things are just gonna happen? That you deserve attention for simply craving it?
No, of course not. If you really want to feel the humble embrace of the crowd, you’ve got to work for it! Nothing is free in life!

I’m a person with a lot of flaws. A person who’s trying to become a better human being.
Anyone else out there who would like to share a flaw with me?


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About Get a Grip

Code monkey. Opinionated.

2 responses to “Mine’s Jealousy! What’s yours?”

  1. notathoughtgiven says :

    Well since your sharing, I will do the same. My flaw is being paranoid about friends and people I trust. Always thinking that they will hurt me like people in my past hurt me. I learned to find a reason that they might hurt me and kill the friendship before they had a chance to hurt me. Learned over the last couple of years to moderate it out somewhat that I’m not jumping to the conclusion that just because someone is close to me doesn’t mean they will hurt me. But I can feel those thoughts swirling in the background telling me to dump the person before its too late.

    • jennaisme says :

      At least you’ve been able to identify it as an issue. I remember it took me forever to recognize my problems. So you should be proud of that progress. (:

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