Happy Easter. Where ever and whenever – A brief history of easter

Since the Babylonians were basically the first ones, i guess Ishtar would be the first symbol of the humanization of this season.

British_Museum_Queen_of_the_Night

A victim’s interpretation. If you find this flasher daughter of a bitch, then please contact the police, immediately.

Then there’s the slightly newer and upgraded Germanic one called Ēostre. Not quite as keen on the whole prostitution thing. At least from what we know. *Wink wink*

405px-Ostara_by_Johannes_Gehrts

She brings all the boys to the yard.. That’s just a cute way of saying that she’s a pedophile though. So report her too.

Then i guess the little sister of the Swedish midsommar, and a few summer fertility pagan rituals would count too, to some extent.

Midsommar_på_Årsnäs

Swedes are known to dance around penises so that semen can be pumped into everything they eat.

Baal_Ugarit_Louvre_AO17330

Sex toys had more creativity put into them back in the day

Then there’s the Christian holiday of zombie Jesus coming to town to hide dem eggs.

HA_zombie-jesus_1920x1200

Will his lust for brains ever be quenched? Not until every single person is a christian fundamentalist, expert creationist at the museum of true science inc says.

Then there’s the secular holiday that we all know and love. Where it’s more associated with bunnies, eggs, candy and witches. Basically a sub-text version of what it was initially, so many centuries ago. Symbol of promiscuity, lust, and forbidden fruit.

two-painted-eggs-425

easterbunny

Easter_witch_Sk12_pääsiäisnoita_C

The tradition has never been more innocent than it is now.

And that concludes this slightly disturbing, yet interesting look back at this very bizarre tradition.
Humanity is great, isn’t it?

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About Get a Grip

Code monkey. Opinionated.

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