Archive | March 2013

A brief transgender story of mine, and some preaching.. again.

I’m currently, and have been for the past few months, been getting pay checks from auntie Sammie (The Swedish equivalent of uncle Sam, as of right now). But let me back up a little first. About a year ago, i started this blog, in an attempt to reach out to like-minded individuals, and to express myself (Cause i wasn’t getting much of that at home). It was also the start of me wanting to get better. For a few months prior to starting the blog, i had really been feeling really really down.. For you see, i came out to my parents in around August of 1½ years from now. I finally came out as a transsexual. With mixed results. I mean, on one hand, i feel that most people in my family accepts it. But not dad.. And mom seem a bit embarssed about it (Seeing as she told me not to dress up the way i wanted in front of her friends).

So instead of what i was hoping for. That is, to dress the way i want, and to finally express myself the way i wanted, i slowly faded into myself again.. Now, in retrospect, i feel that a huge stone was at least lifted from my shoulders because i told them all. So that’s gone at least. But i got no real support, i feel.. And in all honesty, i haven’t really recovered from then. I hardly ever go out in public dressed the way i want. Mainly because of my hair (It just isn’t fooling anyone), but also because i lack the encouragement. A lot of other transsexuals had far more encouragement in their surroundings, so for them, it was much easier… But anyway. I’ve digressed long enough.

So i thought long and hard, and after a lot of dysphoria and depression later, i finally started to reach out in another way. I decided to put my transsexual issues, not on the backburner, but not as the main goal. I decided to get the help for my depression and anxiety (Which was no doubt caused by me being made to feel ashamed of myself, rather than anything else.. But also because of other things, which i’ll explain at a later date), while also talking about my trans issues.. Long story short, i’ve moved out of my parents place, i have a steady income, i work at a photo restoration buisness as an intern of sorts, and i’m a month shy of finally finally being able to meet an expert on transsexuals. Which means that i’ll finally get to start my transition.

The reason why i’m telling everyone this is because of other people around me. I’ve had to slaughter a lot of lazy snorlaxes to get where i am. Both within myself, but also people around me who i feel was just bringing me down. Some people stomp and stomp in the same place for years and years (I was like that for a while, prior to coming out) and never get ANYWHERE! And it makes me fucking sick. Because here i am, from a point of which i thought there was no escape from, still with a lot of issues i need to solve, and yet, so many other people aren’t willing to do anything! The thing is that you can climb out of the pit that you’ve dug for yourself. But the first and most frightening step is to admit it to yourself that you need help, and that you have to climb..

I don’t know if i’m even making sense. I just feel that, if i can make it better for myself, then so can anyone. At least the people who are stuck in a rot, living at their parents place and feeling anxious all the time. Or people living for a wage packet. You can make life better for yourself.  The only question is: do you even want a better life?

Happy Easter. Where ever and whenever – A brief history of easter

Since the Babylonians were basically the first ones, i guess Ishtar would be the first symbol of the humanization of this season.

British_Museum_Queen_of_the_Night

A victim’s interpretation. If you find this flasher daughter of a bitch, then please contact the police, immediately.

Then there’s the slightly newer and upgraded Germanic one called Ēostre. Not quite as keen on the whole prostitution thing. At least from what we know. *Wink wink*

405px-Ostara_by_Johannes_Gehrts

She brings all the boys to the yard.. That’s just a cute way of saying that she’s a pedophile though. So report her too.

Then i guess the little sister of the Swedish midsommar, and a few summer fertility pagan rituals would count too, to some extent.

Midsommar_på_Årsnäs

Swedes are known to dance around penises so that semen can be pumped into everything they eat.

Baal_Ugarit_Louvre_AO17330

Sex toys had more creativity put into them back in the day

Then there’s the Christian holiday of zombie Jesus coming to town to hide dem eggs.

HA_zombie-jesus_1920x1200

Will his lust for brains ever be quenched? Not until every single person is a christian fundamentalist, expert creationist at the museum of true science inc says.

Then there’s the secular holiday that we all know and love. Where it’s more associated with bunnies, eggs, candy and witches. Basically a sub-text version of what it was initially, so many centuries ago. Symbol of promiscuity, lust, and forbidden fruit.

two-painted-eggs-425

easterbunny

Easter_witch_Sk12_pääsiäisnoita_C

The tradition has never been more innocent than it is now.

And that concludes this slightly disturbing, yet interesting look back at this very bizarre tradition.
Humanity is great, isn’t it?

Me in a nutshell? (Reddit, reddit, reddit)

I think i’ve finally realized that i’m a reddit junkie. But who can blame me? Here is a screenshot of all the subreddits i’m into:

Reddit

And here are a few random just now posted content from those:

New Zealand

 

Mount Roraima - Venezuela

 

AWlp4Bu

MeRCtXv

 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/amyodell/18-trends-that-died-in-2012
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/gay-pride-in-new-york-city-1970-1979

You see what i mean? Reddit is pretty amazing. Most of the community aspect, most of my media consumption, most of my entertainment, most of my news reading.. Do check it out, if you’re for some reason not on there already.

Tropes vs women in videogames. Whatever response someone could make to her.

You know, i haven’t really commented on feministfrequency’s video she made a few weeks ago, where she talked about tropes vs women. Because one, she disabled comments and ratings. Which tells me that she obviously don’t care about other people responding. She defends it by saying that “people are just gonna troll and be sexist” (Sorry to paraphrase), but if that is her attitude, then why bother? Why even be on the internet? Doing something like that just makes you seem like a creationist. They do that shit too, because they know their opinions (Which is what your video is) won’t hold up to scrutiny. And second, i haven’t responded because i think so many others did a great job at it.. and i’ve already talked about it with my brother. Woman and man in between.

Her video:

But i just wrote something on facebook in response to an article i read on PA (Jocelyn had shared it), and maybe it could at least give you some idea of where i stand, as a gamer myself:

I don’t think video game developers are coming from a very sexist stance on the current state of the industry. I think it’s more of a holdback from a previous era, and a money issue. And it’s a catch 22, really. Because if they never branch out to make characters something other than 30-some-year-old white straight males, you’re never going to get a bigger market for other demographics either.
So for the industry and people as a whole, i think it would be better if we started mixing it up a little. Even though your numbers are currently telling you that this narrow scope is what sells right now.

And thunderf00t made a video where he did some good explaining too, and it pretty much sums it up. She’s not a gamer, and she walked into something that was way beyond her depths. Leave the gaming analyzing and women in gaming talking to extracredits. They explain stuff so much better than she could ever (Because she’s just not a gamer. She has little to no interest in games. At least if her video is anything to go by) do. And i don’t even agree with them on everything. I think they’re too liberally slanted at times. But i always respect their opinions, and find good points in them, because there is where you’ll find non-posers..

Anyway. Do check out thunderf00t’s video, and extracredits. But i’d recommend doing like me and not think too much of it. Because like i said in the beginning, she obviously doesn’t care about other people’s opinion. She seems to have already decided that they’re wrong anyway. And no, i don’t buy her bullshit excuses for a second.

Thunderf00t’s video:

Link to extra credits: http://www.penny-arcade.com/patv/show/extra-credits

Transgender nails!

Not sure if i really have anything on my mind worth writing about, but i found this picture, posted by one of the members of the transsexual community on reddit (Of which i am a part of, and i recommend everyone else going there too), that i just had to share.

RN1EqB8

 

Now, if you’re anything like me, your first reaction will be: I’m totally stealing this. Too fabulous to pass up!
And yes, it is. For those who might be unaware, it’s the transsexual flag on her fingernails. I was already a fan of painting my nails, and i had always wanted to go with multiple colors. So why not do this! This will be our project. If any transsexual, woman, or man; whoever’s reading this, and you’re into painting your nails, by all means, i’d love to see your nail art, or your color mixes. (:

Other small news

I am currently scanning my old old harddrive for the files i have on it. It got corrupted a long time ago, and i just now got to trying to get the files off of it. It’ll be done tomorrow at around noon.. One of my mail reasons for doing it now of all times, is because i need some material for a video i’m going to make. My first ever video. Not going to say anything more than that. But it’ll be great.. For me at least.

No transgender news.. Oh, i made a picture yesterday (Just shaded it, really). Tried a lot of new stuff. Didn’t turn out that well. But here it is anyway, just in case someone wants to see:

rain_chapter_14_remix_by_q9r42-d5z0cbi

And that about does it. I’ll leave you with this video:

So tired. Tribalism, and a short thank you.

Yesterday, i recorded myself talking about being tired of some groups of people, but i decided to scrap it, and just write it instead.
But before anything else. The 22nd of April will be the one year mark for this blog. One year, and almost 100 followers since then. Considering that i’m the most boring human being alive, i think that’s quite remarkable. Thanks to everyone who gave the time, and continues to give their time. It’s very much appreciated. If only for the fact that i’m not just speaking to myself.

You know.. I scrapped what i said earlier. Because what i’m really tried of is just one thing. And that’s ignorance. I’m tired of dogma. I’m tired of indoctrination. I’m tired of tribalism. I’m tired of blindness. I’m tired of bubbles. I’m tired of narrow mindedness. I’m tired of  lalalalala!!! I’m tired of ignorance.

And it all stems from groups. It all comes from “My side can no nothing wrong, and i’ll find flaws in the other side till i’m red in the face”. For instance, political affiliations. You know, the moment a republican president starts abusing the powers that a democratic president created for him/her, that’s when they’ll get mad. And it’s the republicans fault! Because fuck that guy.

Or you’ll see it among skeptics. Which is probably the most ironic group of people. They pride themselves on being skeptics and having a skeptical outlook on life. But in reality, they’re just as tribal as any other group. You know, the moment someone in their group starts saying someone stupid, they flat out ignore it, and often times reward it. Like atheism+.
Skeptics guide to the universe is the largest skeptics podcast out there, yet the people in it won’t even question it when Watson comes with her oh so enlightened thoughts. Like how saying cunt is wrong, but saying dick is ok.. Yes, you’re always right, Watson. You’re not a moron.

I could go on. Pretty short list, but like the title states, i’m just so god damned tired of it. I’m tired of dealing with it. Which is why i’ve decided that i’ll stop bothering so much with it. Because people will just be people, and their group is awesome, and every other group suxxx!1one It’s never our fault, and it’s always their fault. It’s always us vs them. There can be no other solution, and i’d sooner use my chest as a drum and yell AAAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA before looking at it in any other way. I’m just right, and you’re just wrong!

I’m done.

(Audio) Friend rant. Something a little different

Going to let most of my audio do the talking. Yes! Finally an audio recording. Now you can all hear how terrible i am, and how i sound like a moron.. Yay

You can listen to it here:

It’s raw and uncut for now. If i do more audio ones, i’ll probably end up editing them. But this is it for now.

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