Archive | November 2012

Inheriting and getting

I looked at my apartment, and got some more information on when i can move in, yesterday. Turns out that i can move in the 6th of December! Which is pretty soon actually. About two weeks from now.

So what are some future plans until then? First, i will be fixing with the internet companies, to make sure that i can have internet there as soon as i move in, and not have to wait. I sent an email to support to ask about pre-ordering internet earlier today.

Tomorrow, i will be going to a second hand place to get some furniture and porcelain. I won’t have to get much for myself actually, since i’m inheriting most of it from my big sister. Including her big bed. Which will be great!

I also have to go to an internet auction site to get my controller and memory card for my gamecube, so i can finally start on skies of arcadia again. A fantastic game for the gamecube and dreamcast.
I’ll be cleaning my room for the last time next week, and the week after that, pack a bunch of things.

All i can say is that, if there wasn’t light at the end of the tunnel before, there’s certainly now! I feel so excited for the move, and to get my own place for once.


Transgender day of remembrance


It’s that time of the year again. My second time doing something for the transgender day of remembrance day. I wanted to do something other than character art this time, so i tried to do a poem, in commemorate of this day.

I don’t usually write poems, so i’m not sure how crude this one came out. The start and the end of the poem rhymes, and the middle breaks it somewhat, and makes it more of a monologue. I did it like that because i felt it kept to the theme of the poem. So not only are the words made to tell something, but also the way it’s laid out.
Perhaps it’s stupid to make it that way, and probably a rookie thing to do. But oh well.

I hope to spread the word of this day, and the word out to at the very least help mitigate the damage done because of people’s ignorance towards transsexuals.

Here’s hoping that everyday is a day closer to a world where being transgender isn’t frowned upon anymore.

Some transsexual advice and future plans

I did an interview with a person on know on deviantart. She’s a transsexual just like me, and her name is Jocelyn. ( The interview confirmed everything about my own transsexualism, and i feel very happy to have done it now. I know what i have to do in order to change my life for the better.

This Tuesday, i’ll be taking my first look at my new apartment around 5:30pm, and i can’t even tell you how excited i am for that. I’ll be asking her when i can move in (Which from what i understand, could be as early as 15th december). So hopefully, i’ll get to move in soon. Can not wait!

As soon as i have moved in and fixed with all my stuff and what not, i’m gonna have to do something about my wardrobe. First of, i’ll be taking some measures on myself to figure out my measures (So that buying clothes will be much easier), and then i’ll be going down town to buy some clothes, i think.. Feels a bit strange to do that dressed as a guy. So i might take to the internet for my first set of clothes (I do have clothes, but i kind of want to do a full update on it). Either way, i’ll end up with new clothes.

While i’m doing all that, i will be picking up a bunch of hair products, skin care products and some makeup. I hope that will be enough for a first step, and hopefully, i should be able to go out in public as a woman for once. It’ll take quite some effort to figure everything out and to look passing though. But i’m sure i can do it.

Along the way, i will be announcing on my facebook, to everyone i know personally, that i am a transgendered person. I think it’ll mostly be met with positive feedback. I still don’t know what to do about dad though. But hey, it’s his problem, so i’m not the one who’ll have to take a step towards anything in that regard.

What else.. I will be starting a new channel on youtube where i’ll upload videos of myself, doing whatever. I have the “my maplestory” video that i have to do, to basically tie the knot of my past life, and move on with my new one. Then i also have a lot of thoughts on my mind and a lot of people i would wish to address. But in due time.

I also have some plans with my brother to do a podcast. It’ll be in Swedish though, so probably nothing any of my very little audience would care about. Basically, we hope to get some education out there for all the Swedes, and while doing some, educate ourselves. Either way, it’ll be a very fun thing to do.

Last thing that i will do when i move out of my parents place is to get in shape. Which means no more meat for me for at least a year, and a lot of training.

So that’s that! I feel very pumped for all of this, and i know life will turn out well for me. Here’s to a better tomorrow!

Your average internet conversation

I feel like venting a little at people on the internet. First of, let me tell you all where i’m coming from.

I’m a transsexual woman in a one horse town full of bigots whose only interests are horses, scooters, floorball and football; i don’t have anyone i can really call a friend, per see; and the only vindication i have in life is the internet, as sad as that is.
So i have to express my anger and sadness over the fact that i can not for the life of my establish a conversation on the internet. I’m guessing it’s just me. Whatever wrong it is with me at the moment. That has to factor in somehow. Because, just wow! I don’t get it what so ever, how it always goes this way:

Hello. This thing you wrote was really interesting. Here are some questions, backed with some observations and points. What say you?

Ah, yes. You’re totally right, and that is really interesting. A question and another question. Some points and obserbations, you’re pretty cool.

Oh, yes. Very intersting, and here are some answers to your questions, here are some points and such, this conversation sure is going swell.


*Nothing but silence*

What you’ve just read is the ramblings of a madwoman who can’t figure out human interactions, obviously.
Seriously though. What gives? Am i the only one having this issue? Is it me, or is it other people who just have too much else to think about in their life?

Final day: The dawn of hope lights my eyes

So.. I’ve decided to quit making this a daily thing prematurely  I was going to quit doing that as soon as i moved out of my parents place. But hey.. I haven’t really felt like writing in a while, and the whole daily thing just isn’t working out for me. I did get to around 200 entries though. Which is something i think should be celebrated.

One of my main issues with the daily thing, is that i have to write it at night. Which is the time when i feel the least inspired to do so. But i feel happy that it got to around 200. I remember when i started. I hadn’t even begun to see a doctor or anything. I felt trapped and hopeless. But today, i feel much better. I still have issues with my sleep at times. But the pills that i’m getting sure is helping a lot with that. And i’ll be moving in to my own place soon (About a month or so from now), which will be monumental. I can decide what to eat, what to wear, what to do! I’ll get my independence!

It will also be a great time to start trying out the youtube waters, by uploading videos. I’m still not entirely sure what to do about it. Maybe i’ll just do the vlog, maybe i’ll do variety  maybe i’ll get a separate channel for let’s plays.. We’ll have to see. All i know is that i need to get something off my chest, regarding where i was for years, and where i want to go in life.

This won’t be the last time i’ll be posting on here though. I intend to start writing more thoughtful things, and maybe start a new blog on tumblr about learning things. Because i feel that writing things down and collecting the info you collect is a great way of learning.

But yea.. This is the last of the daily blogs. It’s been about 200 days, and i feel great closing this chapter of my life. Oh, and i’ll be sure to keep things updated on here as well. I’ll try to make at least two life update posts a month. Will probably end up being more than that. I’ll also try to make opinion posts. Be it rants or whatever.

Day 192-193-194: Short and weird post

A three day post!

I can’t really say that i’m in the mood for writing, so i guess i’ll be brief. Been listening to a lot of Stephen Fry, Douglas Adams and podcasts. And that’s basically it. I wish i could muster up the energy to go more in depth on these people, but i don’t really feel like it right now. Maybe at some point, i will write some extensive things on these people. I have been meaning to make a TIL kind of thing on a tumblr blog, where i write about all sorts of things in great detail. Kind of like how you did in school, where you had to write about various things in essays and stuff. I remember how i was always so proud of myself when i had a big collection of work.. I kind of want to recapture that. Maybe “A subject a week” kind of thing. Where i watch a documentary on the subject, read about it in great detail, and all that. Maybe “Stuff you should know” podcast got me interested in doing that.
Maybe one subject will be on Douglas Adams, and another on vegetarian dieting. Something along those lines. I think it’ll be fun.

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