In today’s post:
Blabbermouth. Mayor news on the music program. I think i’m witty, can you believe it? And a raping parrot.
I ended doing a lot of programming today. Finally done with most of the rough parts of the music program. Turned out looking much better than i thought. I didn’t make a video of how the window animates yet. I might do it once the UI is done, which is what’s next! Hell yes!
Been very social this whole night (didn’t get much of a shut eye, to put it lightly) and the whole day. So it’s been fun. Even though my body is kind of tired, and i’m probably not making much sense anywhere, i’ve still had a good time.
We had a very sudden thunderstorm today too. Took a video of it. Probably won’t show it anytime soon though! Just for later, i guess.
But yea.. This post is fairly disjointed, which is indicative of a non-sense post. Haha!
Had so much fun with people on twitter though.. I love just saying whatever pops into my head, and making witty jokes about things. Mostly rooted in sarcasm, but i think they end up being very witty. You know.. Maybe i am naturally witty. From what i read about what wit really is, i feel that i may just be fairly witty, when i don’t restrict myself too much. But i don’t know. I couldn’t possibly be the judge of that.
Didn’t end up taking out the motherboard today, because mom forgot to bring the tools from my brother’s place. Oh well. I can always do that tomorrow.
Hopefully, i’ll get an answer from the school tomorrow. Also, i should apply for a new flat too. Got a no in the mail once again today. Which is still expected, of course. Not frowning about that.
It speaks for itself:
In today’s post:
100 days of writing. And some random goodies for my followers.
Words about the 100 days past
Finally! 100 posts! I’m about 30 away from beating my old record. You see, i had a blog i started at the very beginning of 2010, called “Jojosbloggingyear”, on blogger once. I gave up on it for some reason. Maybe it’s because i gave critique on iJustine, and got such a backlash. Or maybe i realized that keeping a daily blog update was pointless if it was going to be about other things.. I don’t know. For some reason, i quit it.
On a side-note, i remember that the 100th post on jojosbloggingyear was a tribute to Nintendocaprisun, a fellow i used to follow back in the day. Until i got disappointed at him. It’s a long story. Maybe some other time.
But here i am, 100 days later. It’s been a little less than 1/3s of a year already. A lot has changed since i started it. I began as a distraught transsexual, who had to take her mind off of things, by writing. And that’s pretty much me, still. But i have made progress, because i’m now a student, i’ve got myself some new clothes, and i feel generally better.
Hopes for the next 100
I hope that i’m seeing a psychologist about my angst and transsexuality. I hope to be doing somewhat good in school, and maybe even made new friends. I hope to have my own flat.
These are my hopes for the next 100.
I feel like randomly posting some stuff
Today was a decent day. Got my bra today! Fits perfectly! I’m a size B as of right now, but probably will get slightly bigger as soon as i get my hormones. It’s been too warm today for my taste. I listened to some Penn’s sunday school, which had the voice actor of Fry from futurama as a guest. Very funny man! I may even listen to it again when i’m done. About 30 mins left on it.
While out walking, i took some pics and a video of the beautiful field i walked alongside:
I love how the wheat looks like the ocean waves. Very beautiful.
Anyway. Here are some random pictures that i really like:
But yea.. I guess that’s that. Random pics because.. Well.. I’m random myself! Hehe.
Thank you, the reader
Anyway. I would like to thank everyone who actually reads the mess i’ve created. It’s always nice seeing the number of views increase on a regular basis. I hope to keep blogging for quite some time, going forward. I mean, at the very least for more than a year. I said before that i might start blogging in a non-regular basis if my life ever gets to that point, where i don’t feel the need to do so anymore. But right now, i’m content with updating daily.
I hope everyone will stick around, because my transition is just starting, and it’s gonna get a whole lot girlier from this point on.
Going to send in the motherboard on my big PC for repair, and probably just be lazy, because tomorrow might be a warm-ass day
Saw a great visual mod for minecraft earlier:
Last night, i had what could best be described as a “clusterfuck of an argument”, with a friend on twitter. I don’t really think any of us understood each other’s points. It was an argument about voting, essentially.
So now i’m going to clarify what my position is on the voting issue.
I’m of course referring to voting for political parties. Exercising your democratic duties, some would put it. I’m inclined agree with that somewhat. Although i think people should have the choice to vote or not.
Vote or STFU
The first argument is “People who don’t vote has no right to complain”. I find this a very stupid thing to say. Because i think you should engage in a discussion with them, ask them why they don’t vote. Instead of telling them to vote or STFU. How likely do you think it is that anyone will be inclined to vote when voters will tell them that they have to, or else their view is invalid. At least that’s the tone you usually get.
Would anyone think i was making a good argument if i told a voter who voted in the politicians currently in power, that they can not complain, because they were the ones who voted for them to begin with? I think that would be equally as stupid.
All i’m saying on this point is that, we should engage in a discussion instead of just dismissing one another. Because that does nothing productive what so ever, in my opinion.
Voting ignorantly is worse than not voting at all
I think the title here explains itself. If you’re someone who vote on a superficial level, (Example: You hear a politician make a bunch of promises you like, and vote based solely on that) then you’re a bigger part of the problem than non-voters. As simple as that. And you don’t get to taut your own horn in discussing politics. Because people will pick up very quickly, that you’re an ignorant fuck.
I think Issac Asimov said it best:
“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.’”
― Isaac Asimov
Do i vote?
I have yet to really vote, myself. But i am thinking of voting at some point. So what does that make me? Am i to believe that it’s a dichotomy, where either you vote, or you don’t? Because if we’re to believe that, then i would fall into the same group as people who openly reject the notion. I try to be someone who has a good understanding of something, before jumping into it. I openly admit that i have little clue as to how the Swedish political system works. Obviously, i have the basics that i learned in school. But i don’t know the actual.. Dance, if you will. The lingo. The game. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but i feel like i want to understand it on a deeper level before voting. Maybe then, i could even vote for any of the main parties.
I’m not currently making any larger efforts to get to that point in my mind though. Mainly because i have other things in my life that i feel are more important. I honestly don’t put as much weight on voting as many others seem to do. My personal life comes first.
And i know that politics influences my life too, and yes, i do have political views. All i’m saying is that i have to focus on myself, only, for a while, and i feel that my view on politics in Sweden isn’t enough. That’s all.
Maybe the election after this coming one, i will make a vote.
What the fuck am i talking about anyway?
I guess the point of this post is to explain why i haven’t voted yet, why we shouldn’t dismiss one another and why voting doesn’t automatically make you a better person (Not a part of the problem).
I hope these points are clear to anyone reading this. I sure as fuck didn’t make a clear case yesterday apparently. Although, i am told that twitter’s 140 character limit isn’t exactly friendly to those of us who try to explain things. But, you know. Other inadequacies of mine are obviously also a factor. After all, i am a Swede, writing in English. English is not my native language.
I think voting is a step in the middle, towards making a difference in this country, and even in countries like the US… although, i might be wrong there, due to the massive corruption problem. But i think for the most part, it holds true.
So in short. My view on voting is of someone in the middle. I don’t think it’s utterly pointless like many non-voters and even voters do, but i don’t think it’s this super duper thing that represents everything that’s good in this world, like so many voters seem to think. It’s just good, and i think you need to do more to make a significant change.
In today’s post:
Humor hatin’. Heat wave. Got my skirt! Louis CK. And The Stanley Parable
Quite a few things has happened today. Nothing major, just some things i want to point out.
I made a bitchy comment on something opinion-based today. I hardly ever do, but this time, it was something so atrocious that i just had to say something. I couldn’t contain myself. And i thought that i would be left alone, and no one would reply. But someone did. He tweeted with some smarmy comment on how i can’t just accept that everyone has different types of humor. Well, i can. But i didn’t this time. And i own up to that. I’m only human!
Oh, and the video was a short minecraft video (30 seconds or so), where all it was was a guy clipping to random places in some minecraft world, screaming. Just screaming. You know, what you do with babies to make them laugh. You make some random loud noise, and hope it sticks.
I guess what triggered my bitchy response was the fact that i see it get to that. I would not be surprised if something like that became something mainstream. Where people just make some noises. Where words are no longer necessary to make money. Where people will find it a legitimate brand of humor. It wouldn’t surprise me.
Speaking of someone making a video about being pissed at bad humor:
Stumbled upon an issue i’m not sure how to fix. I have no idea how i’m going to do drag and drop. There are plenty of ways i could try.. But i just don’t feel like spending so much time on something so small. But oh well… Progress is slow, but it’s going forward. Maybe i’ll do the HTML/JS/CSS part tomorrow. Should be fun! That’s the easy and substantial part of it.
Anyway. I’ve been watching some Louis CK today. He’s pretty good. Hadn’t really watched him before. It’s been a warm day, so it’s all i’ve been able to do. Really don’t like this hot weather. But oh well.
Got the skirt i bid on earlier too. It’s really nice! Perfect for hot days, that’s for sure. It’s all frilly and stuff. Love it! Oh, and it’s green too :3
And that’s it, i suppose. Warm days just take all the energy out of me.
A very funny little short game. The Stanley Parable:
In today’s post:
Transsexual thoughts. Lots of writing. Music program updates. And augmented reality concept short.
My transsexual dilemma
I feel a bit torn.. Like i explained in a earlier post, i feel that i will split this family. I either want to be open to everyone in my family (And everyone on earth), which includes their friends and everything, or distance myself from my family as a whole. Which includes instances of me being alone with them somewhere. I really hate having to hide my transsexuality. Which i am pretty much forced to do now. So it’s a hard thing for me to deal with. It could also be that i’m over thinking things, and making myself into a victim. I should be very wary of the possibility that that is what i’m doing.
Still, i can’t help but to wonder exactly how many around my family’s going to be able to accept me for who i am, and what my closest family members will say to me, in regards to everyone else in the family.
Reason why i’m thinking so much about this right now, is because my mom is having a party at home. And we’re like, 30 or more here. So it’s quite big. A lot of family, friends and friends of friends. And to wrap up my thoughts on my transsexuality on this matter (Which is weird to do when you’ve started a new paragraph, but oh well), i’m just wondering if i’m going to get a lot of people in my family, telling me that they’re ashamed, and that they want me to hide it from others. Because if i get that, then so be it. I’ll simply have to distance myself. I’m not going to hide forever.
Been sitting in my room for the most part, contemplating about my situation. I don’t really feel like socializing when i don’t really know what people really think of me. Not that many out there (In the house right now) really know about my transsexuality, but i feel like i don’t want to get used to being with them, if they’re just going to dismiss me later.. Maybe it’s wrong of me to think like that though. Another thing i think could be a factor is gender dysphoria. I really don’t like how other women get to dress up, and i don’t. I think i wrote more about exactly what situation i’m in, but basically, i’m just respecting the wish of my mom who asked me not to dress up around dad. Which i will do while i live at them. Plain and simple.
Anyway.. Huge digression there. Kind of disjointed. But oh well. Been writing a lot today. With this entry, it’s three posts in one day. Damn.. My fingers are burning! Other than that.. I’ve pretty much just been sitting here, being depressed for the most part.
Music program update
Did a little more on the music program too. Now i have some kind of framework, and i can actually start making the full interface for it with HTML/JS/CSS. Fun times to be had with that. Finally some graphical stuff, as opposed to fixing linking issues and what not. Nothing new to really show yet though. But i will have something in due time, i’m sure.
Well, it’s sunday.. And people are going to be party sick tomorrow. So i guess i will just relax. Seems like a good idea. Oh, and on monday, i’ll have the 100th daily entry! I should do something special about that. Compile some pictures and videos, i think.
At least once a month, you get some big story on how some corporation, celebrity or over-night celebrity, is against gay marriage. Always in the US too. That seems to be where the issue is taking place at the moment. Because in every other developed country (and i’m using that term very loosely when including the US), it’s not a big deal. In fact, most of us understand that it has nothing to do with anything, in terms of how well a country is going to fare. If anything, it’s a good sign that we’re more inclusive, free and open.
That being said. Chick-Fil-A. I’m not going to go on in any intricate detail on this particular issue, and i’m not going to make arguments as to why the anti-equal marriage crowd is in the wrong. I already made a post where i refuted all the common arguments against equal marriage rights.
All i’m going to do is to level with you. I’m going to tell you exactly what will happen.
And in the future, when i end up being right (Because i am right, on this particular issue), don’t go back to this post and say how i was some kind of prophet for predicting that it would go the way i am about to lay down. Because we all know what’ll happen, eventually.
So here’s the thing. The side who want slavery to be legal, and makes arguments explaining how we need slaves, or else our culture will crumble and fall, and our economy will go to shit; will lose. The side who want women to not be able to vote, and make arguments saying how women are inferior, and bring up statistics pointing out how women aren’t capable of thinking “right”; will lose. The side who don’t want people of different colors to marry, and make arguments pointing to how interracial couples are worse parents; will lose. The side who are against homosexual rights, and make arguments pointing out how couples of same sex are worse parents; will lose.
The anti side will lose. The exclusive club will crumble. The wrong side will fail. The bad guys will drop dead. You always do. Yet, you persist, because that’s what cancer does.
Now.. can we go back focusing on real issues in the US? I mean, you have an economy that looks like shit. You have a huge corruption problem in your government. You’re rapidly losing freedom, ever since 9/11. The country is falling, and it has nothing, i repeat, nothing(!!) to do with people of the same genders getting the same human rights as you. Just like how black people being able to drink from your water fountains, didn’t make the country fall into pieces. So stop equating “people not thinking the way you do, and not conforming to your ideas” to “the end/degradation/perversion of civilization”. Have an open discussion, debate, change your mind, be skeptical, think things through. That way, you can be sure to at least have a more clear view of reality than those who don’t even want to try to change their minds on things, and will, without a doubt, see that being against equal marriage rights for every human being, is down right stupid.
THAT’S IT! End of story.
I feel a certain pressure to not talk about my transsexual issues with members of my family, because i fear that, if i do, i will split the family.
I could be misremembering, but my mom told me that i shouldn’t dress up the way i want around dad, or any of her siblings. Because they can’t take it, apparently — I live at my parent’s, for those who don’t know.
Mom also said that if dad couldn’t accept it, once i start my physical transition from male to female (Hormones, operations, etc), she would divorce him.
So you can imagine that i have a lot of pressure. Maybe i’m just making things up and just trying to make myself a victim, or whatever. But i feel that me being transsexual is making everyone around me very sad, and has the potential to make people very sad. And i don’t feel that i have the right to make my family sad because of it. Especially considering that i’ve lived at my parent’s, for so long.
That’s why i’m going to try to deal with it myself once i get my own place. I feel no one really understands me either. Obviously, that’s probably mostly due to me being absent in many ways. But like i said, i just don’t think it’s right of me.