Day 33: Home away from home pt3 (Final): Transsexualism and dream guy

I’ve been thinking a lot about transsexualism today. Someone i like writing to on twitter PMed me about dating sites, and how it was kind of sad that i will probably have to resort to that eventually.
It got me thinking. Been a day of pondering.

At the start of the day, i thought about what my goals were. I really don’t have a passion anymore. So i still need to figure it out. But then transsexualism came up. And.. I Just don’t know right now. It’s hard to find someone as it is in this world. I may never find the right one for me. Thoughts about being abused and played with comes up. You know.. What if i find a guy who asks me out, and it just turns out that he made a bet with his friends or something.. But now i think it’s the movies talking. You never know until you try.

I’ve been meaning to write about my dream guy for a while now. I don’t know. It seems like a fun thing to do. We all dream about the perfect person, after all. I think one of the most important things about my dream guy though, is that he shouldn’t be perfect. Not just because expecting perfection is unrealistic, but also because a non-perfect person is more likable, in my opinion. In a more loose sense of the term, of course.. I want someone with his own story to tell. A deep person with a lot of interesting thoughts. I want him to know how to treat a lady. I want him to be romantic, not only in a dating sense, but also in a sense that nature is a romantic thing. Maybe that doesn’t make sense though. He should be someone i can talk to, and turn to. Someone who doesn’t get tired of me going on about my issues, and someone who wants to share his issues with me. Someone i can be a team with. Then if he looks totally sexy and has a huge penis, that’s just a plus. :3
Most of all though. In my case, i need it to be someone who is ok with me being who i am. Otherwise, it’s not going to work. 

But hey.. Maybe i’m not even transsexual to begin with. I haven’t gotten a professional diagnosis on it. All i know is that i love being referred to as a woman, i love feeling like a woman, i love looking at myself as a woman, i feel very strangely towards my physiological gender. Sometimes, even very depressed at it.. Or maybe, since i do so little during the days, these days, most of the time. Not a day goes by that i’m not thinking about it. To a lesser or higher extent. It simply feels right for me to be a woman. But i’ll have to admit that i have an open mind on the issue. Even though i am very sure of myself on this.

Anyway. That’s enough of that. Maybe i’ll write more about it some other time.
I completed golden sun last night, like i said i would. Damn, does that game still hold up in terms of its writing, atmosphare, characters and story. Graphics aren’t quite as impressive anymore, but hey… If you want a very good JRPG, you can’t go wrong with Golden sun.
Feeling a little saddened that i don’t have anything to play now. I should start playing a Mario game or something. Oooh, i know! Mario and luigi: super star saga! Now that weekend is coming! Heck yes! Love that game!

But yea. Last day at my brother’s place. Then it’s back to the parent’s house again, and back to regular calling schedule. I sure hope tomorrow won’t be as warm as today. I really don’t like sweating. Currently am. Then i have to go to an apointment with the employment office people at 3pmish.. Ugh. I’m sure that will prove to be enlightening. “Oh, you don’t have a job and now we’re not gonna give you anymore money. Lawlz. Oh, and call moar, u lajzy bum!”. Always so encouraging and non-depressive.

Saw  this vsauce leanback earlier today. Just a collection of human behavior and brain stuff, presented in a very good and fun way: Highly recommended if you’re interested.. or heck.. even if you’re not interested.


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About Get a Grip

Code monkey. Opinionated.

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