Archive | May 2012

Day 40: I is ill

I woke up from a fairly long nap a few minutes ago. My head is feeling very heavy and i’m feeling very sick. Luckily, it doesn’t seem to be stomach flu. But still… Tomorrow (Which is what i thought right now was when i just woke up) will be the day i have to go to the doctor. Quite a long way from here. More than likely in the middle of the rain, feeling sick as heck. So i donno how i’ll manage. Maybe i’ll end up borrowing my brother’s moped.

Anyway.. Sorry for the short post today. I’ll make it longer tomorrow, as i’m sure i will feel much better tomorrow. And i’m going to write about veganism then.

Meanwhile, watch this trailer for dawnstar. It’s pretty bad ass:


Day 39: Scumbag yolo; is yolo

I’ve been very memeie lately. Making a lot of memes. It’s fun sitting with my little brother, playing modern warfare, and just make stupid memes. Especially about yolo! You know.. “You only live once”. One of the stupidest things i have ever heard. But it’s so much fun to joke about.
“Bad luck Zombie; Yolo”. “Scumbag yolo; is yolo”. “Good guy yolo; takes the hit”. A lot of really stupid memes that make no sense for the most part. A lot of braindead fun as of late. Which is something i’ve missed. I used to have that back in the day when i hung out with my young cousin. We played golden eye/perfect dark (Usually 3 to 4 players) and just had fun. Pure fun! Nothing but entertainment. Appeal to the most primitive part of my brain. Maybe i’ve felt so bad earlier, mostly because it hasn’t been stimulated for ages. Obviously, i still have my issues, but i think i’ve deserved this, and most of all, needed it.

Around the end of our video gaming session, my other little brother came in and told me about some guy who got sued for 5,000,000 SEK cause of 30 illegally downloaded songs. Needless to say, the guy was ruined, and can no longer live a normal life. So we ranted a little about how Hollywood sucks, and how all this fucking corruption, lobbying and what not, is ruining everything. What i’m the most angry about is the greed and the stupidity. It’s always A = B with big corporations, it seems. And money is always such a big deal to them. Just makes me angry. I said that.. Yes, it is looking dark now, but i can imagine the people of the past, who had the whole racist America thing going on, the red scare and all that bullshit; were feeling very hopeless too. If things continue to go that way they are now, new york will become city 17, and the entire US will become a slave country. But that’s if things go the way they are now. Which almost never happens. You never know what tomorrow will bring, so to speak.

But anyway! That’s enough about that. The other things i’ve done today. I checked out the notifications API for webkit HTML5 today. I got into a programming mood. Played around a little with it, and i hope i will get enough passion tomorrow to make something out of it. Some web based program, i’m hoping. But we’ll see.
Then i’m also getting sick. At the moment, my throat is feeling red, and i feel that i’m coming down with something. Kind of sucks.. But oh well. YOLO! xD!!!

I didn’t call a single person today, so nothing on the intern/job front for me today. And i guess that’s about it. Fun day today. Two more days until the doctors appointment. It will apparently be a rainy day. It’s been a little cold as of late too. Oh, and i took some panorama on my camera earlier. Haven’t compiled it yet, but will do so tomorrow.. Along with work on that pic i’m making. Decided to just make it one, and not two. Because one of the people i promised to, can go fuck himself. Fucking homophobe, is what he is.

Boogie2988 made a video i thought was relevant to my current life situation earlier:

I thanked him for it, because it felt great hearing that someone else is going through the same thing.

Day 38: It’s the future

I realized earlier today that we’re living in the future. I have a device running android. It’s about 2 years old, and was low-end even back then (Xperia mini e model).. And yet, i can use it as a PHP-enabled server, a mobile hotspot, a phone, a browser, etc.. I just find it amazing, what you can do today.

I’ll be the first to admit that i haven’t really done much productive today. I did call one of the places i set out to call (Which i guess is always something), and got told to call later. Well, i’ll just call that place tomorrow instead. Then i drew some crude sketches on the pic i’m making. One of two pics i’ll have to get done before sunday. Which is when i delete my deviantart account.

Other than that, i guess i haven’t done much. I realized that i need to get a wisdom tooth removed. It just broke.. This happened quite a few months ago now, but it just started bothering me yesterday night, when i just couldn’t sleep due to the right side of my face aching, and it just feeling very uncomfortable. It must be because i’ve laughed so much lately. Hurts a lot then. So i need it pulled out. Good thing it’s a wisdom tooth.

Three more days until i get to see the doctor. It’ll be exciting to see what he has to say. I’ve gotten a lot more comfortable to be around people now too. I can easily sit down with the others anywhere now. Feels great. But even though things are feeling great overall, there’s also a lot of shit. Disregarding my transsexual issues, i also have the issue of my left leg and my lower back, the issue of my tooth (And perhaps some more teeth around that one too), and my bed needing to be replaced or fixed (Right now, it’s really making things worse for my back), and a few more issues.. But i feel good mentally by just knowing that i’ve done a lot of big steps towards making my life better. And i encourage everyone to do so.

Needless to say, i had a pretty bad night of waking up around 2am and 4am.. Got to sleep for the most part, but still. Best thing is that i don’t feel stressed about it. But i guess i shouldn’t speak too soon, huh? o.o!!!
Again.. I’m being very disjointed with my post here. But i told myself in the beginning that it would be basically train of thought, and little editing. So what can you do.

I’m chugging along, like always. Tomorrow will be a fairly similar day to today, i think. Unless i go visit my brother or something. OH yes!! I need to get into Mario and Luigi. I told myself to do it today, but time ran out. Haha! Then i need to tell my little brother to look at my big PC.

A great ELO song i heard, and just wanted to listen a little to:

Day 37: Late night, early town & and computer breaking

So another late night (Around midnight now) post due to fun gaming with my little brother. But you know.. It’s all good.

What’s special for today.. My big and fast computer broke. It turned on at first, froze, i turned it off, it didn’t turn on again. I have guarantee on it, so i should be able to have it replaced for free.. Although.. I need to figure out which part, since i got it with individual parts.
I’ll be honest. I don’t feel like i got the time to bother with that right now. It’s on the very bottom of things i feel like doing or have the energy of doing. I guess i’ll let my older little brother figure out which part of it is broken. I have a suspision that the motherboard broke, but it could also be the net aggregate. Other parts could have broken as a result of either of those breaking, of course, but one of those has to be broken.

I had mixed reactions of when i got the computer. You see.. It was mainly payed with my own money. Money that my big brother owed me. Like, 8000SEK+ or so. Money that i would rather have saved up in all honesty. But i didn’t want to seem rude or something, so i never said that i didn’t want it. But right now, i wish i never had it. I mean, i have a laptop. It’s more than enough for me. Gaming on a computer, and getting into all that can wait for later, when i get my own place, and income.

But that’s enough ranting on that topic. I’m a little shocked, in all honesty, that i haven’t gotten a single comment on the journal i wrote on Deviantart yet. I kind of thought i would get at least one. But i guess it just proves that it was a site that i could easily leave without much issue. And i feel really happy to have made that choice. Around 6 days until i delete it.
I worked on some art i had been promising for a long time today too. I included a fan character of that character as well. His name is “Snow”, and he’s standing next to a girl named “Rain”. More on that when the pic is done though. I’ll link to a great comic i’ve been reading about transsexualism. But that’s for when it’s done.

I just looked around my dark room, and noticed a red light coming from my computer, and it was the light of a button that said “Reset CMOS” or something along those lines. I guess it really is the motherboard then. I’ll keep the computer plugged off for the night, and see if it won’t fix itself tomorrow. Probably won’t, but who knows.

Anyway. I have a bunch of numbers lined up for tomorrow. Did some searching around. Going to call those tomorrow, and see if i can’t get a good response.

Great song by Lloyd Cole. A live version is all i could find. But it’s pretty much as good as the studio one. Except for the fucking American style censoring. “People hearing the word Cocaine = Every single kid will start taking cocaine. Obvious logic is obvious”. Fucking Americans… I’m being hyperbolic, obviously. But still. Enough with the excessive censoring.

Day 36: Greener pastures

I remember that i made a post way earlier called “moving on”, so i had to come up with a title that was synonymous. All things considered (I seem to love using that word), i did a pretty good job. The word “Greener” is a bit ironic though. Since Deviantart is a green site.. So you know.. Yea.. Hehe.

So what now, Jenna? Why move on? Move on from where? Well, tomorrow’s monday, and yet another week of calling places start. It should be fun though. I’m considering giving plenty of places calls. Should be a lot of fun actually.
But i think i need to address some future plans. I came across a quote by none other than Salvador Dalí. It reads:

“Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings”. That quote spoke to me, so i decided to read up on the guy, and i got very fascinated with the man. Needless to say.
I’ve been writing about this quite a bit before, but i need passion. I need a driving force. I went on for so many years with one i thought was what i wanted to do (Gameprogramming), and now i don’t have it anymore. One measure i’ve taken to change things around is gradual change in my behavior (Which would happen anyway, obviously. But i’m thinking more along the lines of a consciously changing my habbits for what i think is the better) and getting more social. It’s worked pretty well so far with the whole stress thing, and i have gotten some good feedback from both hospitals about my leg, and the empolyment offices ‘n’ stuff! But enough about that.

I have some ideas and thoughts. For one, i want to delete my deviantart account. I’ll complete the work i promised i would do for some people, and wrap up the whole thing after that. Just be done with it. So i’ll make three pics this week, and delete the account at the end of it. A way to move on, and change things around, i think. I chose deviantart because i haven’t really gotten much out of being a member there in ages, and it feels like it’s time to move on from that site.

Then i had a good idea on a certain letter i posses. A letter i haven’t read since i got it initially. A letter from someone i used to love dearly, and the only one i’ve ever loved. I still have it, because i haven’t figured out what to do with it yet. I wrote a little about her before. The one who wrote the letter, Vanna. But now i’ve figured out what to do with it! As soon as i get my own place, and start living on my own, i will burn it up. I will make a video, explaining the whole story from my perspective, burn it up, delete all the stuff from those times, and just move on. I feel like it would be a great thing to do. Because i reminisce on the good times from those days more than i would like (Mostly because i tend to listen to music from then). But i’m leaving everyone who is reading this out in the dark now. It will all become clear in due time. There will be a lot of blogging and video’ing about it, for sure.

But that’s about it. A way to close that chapters and move on. Some future plans to close the days of old. Symbolically, for myself. I think it will feel great.

So yea! Basically what i’ve been doing today. Thinking of that. I played some more modern warfare with my little brother.. And that’s about it. I need to get back into Mario and Luigi. Still in the tutorial parts of the game.. You know.. Slow beginning is always the worst. I had the same thing with Golden sun too. So i have to chug along.

I can’t remember if i showed these guys before, but they really are some of the most passionate gamers i’ve ever seen:

Day 35: Not-so-politically-correct jokes

I’m writing this much later than usual because.. Well.. I ended up playing a bunch of modern warfare with my little brother, and we had a lot of fun, cracking jokes and just being silly. It was hilarious. Haven’t had that much fun with a game in quite a few months now.
So we sat for hours, just having fun. It’s nice being able to do that now. I shall always love doing it.

As for my day.. It was pretty good. went for quite a long bike ride in the perfect summer weather. Listened to some great music, and some podcasts. Went down to the annual summer market (There’s one down in the town right now). It was, like always, kind of crap. Same of everything, really. Then shortly after getting home, i get a skype message from my brother, asking me if i could buy him a big soda. He was apparently not feeling very well from the partying last night. He says that he may have gotten some weird stuff in him yesterday. Some drug or something. Cause he was puking when he woke up, he said. So that sucked.. But he said he was feeling better now, so i’ll ask him tomorrow if it’s better then.
Anyway. I ended up being outside for more than 3 hours or so. Probably more than that.

But yea.. Lots of not-so-PG-jokes was made with my little brother, and it was just unmitigated fun all around. Feeling ready for bed now. Was a great day. Perfect summer weather with mild winds, and not too hot. Had a lot of fun, and got a lot of outside time.

Day 34: Apples and grapes

Got home from my brother’s place a few hours ago. All i can say is that it was a blast to stay there. Will totally do it again, sometime soon. We ended it off by drinking some alcohol while listening to some songs, watching youtube videos, talked about religion & stuff and listening to the much needed rain (Summer has come). Was pretty damn chill!

Not much else to say about that. I mean, i wrote about 3 posts on my time there. So yea.. When i got home, i talked a little with mom, and played some Modern warfare 3 (I think) for the first time, with my brother. We played 1v1 against each other. I did pretty well, but in the end, he won.

Currently eating some snacks and watching some videos. Gonna relax a little before going to bed.

It went well at the employment office by the way. I got a new contact person, so it was basically just a check up for him. That also means i will have to go back down there in a week or two though. Oh well.  He seemed like a nice guy.

I ended up giving up on that argument with that religious nut too. The phrase “self-proclaimed Christian” just annoyed me too much. Especially when he can’t even realize his own biases there. calling someone that because they don’t look at the bible the same way you do, is just arrogant and very delusional in the end. I just snapped there, basically.

But yea! I feel great. Tomorrow, i might spend some time playing mario and luigi, and then i donno what to do. Maybe take the bike for a long ride somewhere. I love how green everything’s become now that it’s summer outside.

A few things that me and my brother watched was JonTron and PeanutButterGamer. I highly recommend checking them out.

We also watched a documentary done by Vice (Of course), which was about the scariest drug on earth. Found it on Documentary heaven

Then lastly, here’s a great reggae song:

So a lot of good stuff! Check it out!

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