Forcing a mindset
This is day 3 of life blogging. Just three days, and i’m already starting to lose count. Hah! Lack of sleep surely makes a dent on your memory, doesn’t it?
I probably fell asleep around 5am or so last night. Couldn’t sleep due to stress. That being said, although i was angry and just cranky this morning, it’s been a pretty somber day. Not much stress going on.
Been listening a lot to a song by IZ called “White sandy beach”. It makes me just want to sit on a beach in hawaii for a year or two. To forget about everything, and just focus on your thoughts. That’s actually something that comes up in my mind now and then. To escape day to day life for a year or so, and live a life outside of my comfort zone. I’d would like to live my entire life that way, but at the moment, i’m too fearful of what might happen. Just irrational fear, really. Then there’s also the money issues..
Perhaps i should try to learn to let go. I’m not sure if i was meant to live my life, thinking about my future, and what i should do (I just don’t like it). It’s forced upon me now, by the obligation i feel from my parents and my country (Since i’m getting money from the tax payers to be able to find a job), but as soon as i don’t have those to feel obligated towards, i will be able to let go? Or perhaps that is just me being delisional. Maybe i will find some other reasons to feel stressed? I think my main issue is that i think about the future too much. I just thought of that now actually. I’ll give it some thought, and get back to you.
Anyway! Thinking aside! I applied for yet another CNC job today, so that made me feel good. That i’m actually doing something. Other than that, i’ve been spending time outside, walking, contemplating; spent time on the PC, sorting through my “pocket” account (Former “read it later”) to unread 100 messages. It’s always fun to build up a queue of things you’re going to watch or read later, and then take a day where you go through everything. Highly recommend it.
Then i saved a few pictures from my deviantart favorites to my dropbox, and listened a few minutes to a nerdist episode guesting Penn. That’s it! All i’ve done today. My days are very uneventful. I do hope i will get to start my next day earlier than 1pm tomorrow though.
The artist who wrote that song is called “IZ”. A hawaiian musican:
Then i also just heard a very strange mashup of “feel good inc” and “somebody i used to know”. Two songs i like:
I’m sort of indifferent to it.
http://www.nerdist.com/2012/04/nerdist-podcast-penn-jillette/ Huge fan of Penn. Very interesting person