I’ve been doing a lot of venting and letting my emotions take over these past few years. I realize it’s a predominantly futile exercise, and for that, I’m sorry.
I know it’s ok to talk about your feelings with people you know and love, but it really shouldn’t leek out to the rest of the world.
I want to be the best person I can be, to everyone I meet. And not letting my emotions take over is the first step. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t as big an issue as you might think. I’ve never hurt anyone physically before, and I don’t go into heated screaming with people either. It’s just, sometimes, I let my anger leek out to the world by talking to myself angrily and showing a lot of signs of anger and frustration. And I don’t think it’s what I want to be.
I think it’s important to remember that life is short, and that you should make the best of it. To act like a douche, hold grudges, be angry; it’s all a waste of time at the end of the day, because you end up hurting yourself more than anyone by being all of those bad things.
I’m kind of drunk, so excuse me if this doesn’t make any sense. All I’m trying to say is that I want to better myself, and all this behavior I’ve felt has been rising in my life, is just unnecessary and stupid.
Today has not been a good day, and i feel that i have to rant!
I’m tired of academia who think they’re so fucking smart because they completed a bunch of cookie cutter, no critical thinking or actual understanding tests, that anyone with a fucking brain could have completed. You’re not special, you’re not smart, and you saying a bunch of fancy words, designed to confuse, doesn’t make you smart either! In fact, it actually makes you stupid, because you can’t even convey simple ideas. And for what? For the fear that your academia buddies will look down on you? You weak piece of shit!
I’m tired of feminists! Oh, god, am i tired of these fuckers! Logical fallacy doesn’t even begin to describe what you usually hear from these people! “You’re either with us or against us”, “She’s not a real feminist”, “You’re either a feminist or a woman hater”, the list goes on!
Also, it’s a group that is no stranger to being what they claim to hate! You will hear them say that sexism needs to stop, yet they go around and say that more men needs to be teachers, or “There aren’t enough women here *Gestapo voice*”.
“Trigger warning” is fucking moronic! You’re that much of a fucking child, that you can’t even take someone having a different opinion, or someone referencing something you don’t like? What’s wrong with you! Here’s an idea! Instead of demanding trigger warnings, grow up and realize that reading anything anywhere will probably trigger you, one way or another! Also! It’s not our fucking response to make sure that you’re not offended! You being offended doesn’t mean jack-fucking-shit!
And since we’re talking about being offended, let’s talk about ultra PC liberal fucking-wits! They think that the world will be a better place when people are forced to say “N-word” instead of “nigger”; “C-word” instead of “cunt”. They think that humanity will be better if everyone were super obsessed with not being offensive! They think comedy needs to be cleaned up, because “You can’t joke about everything”. YES! You fucking can! You can joke about whatever the fuck you want. If i want to make a joke about hitler raping a toddler while screaming nigger, i can! And i will! And if you don’t want to hear it, then guess what, fuck-face? You can just go away and think about others for a change.
Oh, what’s that? I’m calling you inconsiderate? How bizarre, right? No! You’re the one who refuses to fucking believe that people have different senses of humor. That people are different from you! You think everyone should like what you like! Fuck off!
Fuck greed! I’m so tired of greedy fucks who wants to squeeze every little million out of every situation! Even if it means fucking over millions of people in the process!
Fuck neo nazis! Read a history book, you blind, moronic, idiotic, vacuous, silly, stupid, insipid, little fucking twat!
And that goes for neo communists too!
You know what? Fuck gullibility! Fuck those idiots who get advanced degrees, yet they believe in crystals having magic powers!
Fuck religion! Especially the type of religion that forces itself on others! No, i don’t want to believe in your stupid nonsense or your god! I don’t need it in my life, i’ll be just fine! End of story!
And you know what? Fuck atheists too! They can be just as religious, if given the opportunity.
Fuck people who can’t think critically.
You know.. Let’s just fuck all of humanity. I’m so sick of stupid shit! People who aren’t challenged on what they believe, people who say dumb shit.. I’m endlessly frustrated at it all, and quite frankly, i’m amazed it hasn’t gone to total fucking shit already! It’s a miracle we still stand today.
I’m including myself in all of this criticism. Because i’m just as vulnerable to emotions. As this blog post clearly demonstrates. I’m just tired of it all. So god damned tired of stupidity. Why do i continue to care about it? I should just out right block every single thing that’s even remotely stupid. Eh.. Whatever! I’ll feel better tomorrow.
For a while now, I’ve been wondering about the LGBTQA community. With almost every article I read, I see nothing but stupidity. And I’m not here to make an argument right now, so don’t expect that. I just want to say how fed up I am with it all.
The last drop was when I got banned from the LGBT subreddit for saying that I didn’t get the hatred toward Nintendo for not including gay marriage in their newest little mii game. And I got banned for that.
Agree with me or not, I don’t think that should be a bannable offense. Especially when it’s on topic.
This is the attitude I’ve noticed. Here’s the mantra: we’re being wronged, everyone needs to agree 100%, otherwise, we’ll ban you. Only others have to have be understanding towards us.
And I’m tired of this. I’m tired of seeing this attitude everywhere I turn in this community.
So that’s it. I’m done. They don’t want discussion? Good! I’m glad for them. I hope that goes well for you.
From now on, I won’t focus specifically on these types of issues. Because the people who write about them are horrible for the most part.
I wanted to take some time to tell a little anecdote about my childhood.
Back when i was around 8-9 years old, i believed that i could control the wind! This story came to me when i was retweeting Marco_io9 on twitter. He wrote a book geared towards people who are questioning their faith in god. Which made me think about myself, cause i’m egocentric that way. I thought about how i never had to grow up with a god in my life, as my family had been atheist for a few generations.
Anyhow, i thought about how i never believed in a god, but that i did believe in a bunch of other things throughout my life. I think i must have tested all types of theories in my life. I tried to believe in the usual stuff that you believe in as a child. Like the tooth story (Although, in Sweden, i don’t think the tooth fairy is the prevailing lie. But we do have a variation of it), the easter bunny and Santa. I eventually grew to understand that none of this was real, as most people do. But once i was done with those at around 7, i started trying out other things. Like, i used to make potions out of mud (Didn’t drink it) that i thought would give me special powers if i smelled the ooze from the cauldron (The puddle), and the power i believed i got was the power to control wind!
And that got me thinking about the lesson i want to impart from all this. At that point, i learned about confirmation bias. Because i would only remember it when the wind did what i wanted it to do. And that fantasy worked for a few months until i had to confront myself with that notion, and i eventually found out that the wind didn’t give two shits about how i wanted it to move.
So i learned about confirmation biased. But that didn’t remove anything bad from my life. In fact, it just made me that more appreciative of the wind. For being this powerful and non-caring force in the world. To this day, i carry a love for the wind, all because of what it taught me!
Figured other closeted transsexuals or crossdressers would like to read this!
Originally posted on Candy Kowal:
Sometimes I wish I could go to a LGBT conference and experience those glorious days of acting and being feminine, in a public setting, for a extended period of time.
Like a lot of us out there, I am in the closet, and just can’t pack up my pretty things and fly away to another city.
Those of you who can, you should do so, for a lot of us live to read about your experiences and better understand how to do things we can in a more local setting.
Within the past year, I have read those experiences and have built up the confidence in myself and my wardrobe to get out and about and meet those locals who have that chance.
That first time out and about, was eased by what I have read, the friendships I nurtured in social media sites, and practicing common techniques in feminization.
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Yesterday, i got a call back (Already) from the clinic, and it turns out that they still want me to come! I can’t believe how lucky i am! This time, i’ve made sure that no more mistakes or misunderstandings occur! I’ll make sure that the people there understand it too! Where i’m coming from with my situation. After all, I’m partially there to tell them about myself!
I just got done with a call to the clinic i’m in contact with (About my trans issues). A very sobby call. How come? Why am i so sad?
Last month, after i was done with that meeting with my doctor, i thought i made sure that later April would be the next time. And since i didn’t write the date down on my phone, i guess that i must have assumed that they would be sending a letter with the next time on it. I say “i guess” because i don’t know. My memory of a week back is hazy, let alone a month back. And i really hate having to do this, but i’m gonna blame my mental illness for once! For those who don’t know, anxiety has a lot of horrible side effects. One of which being that your memory starts sucking.
You know what? I suck! The only one losing on this is me, and the only one who cares about these excuses is me.
The person i talked to was a secretary (Or something of that effect) who would relay my message to my doctors. Last time, they gave me a warning that one more missed time would lead to the cancellation of the whole process. So that is what i’m expecting. I don’t know if they’ll reconsider or not. Honestly, i don’t think they will! Why would they? I’m a mess! Maybe it would be better if i stopped pestering people with my problems all together, and take matters in my own hands.
Whatever. I don’t know what the point of this post was. I just wanted to vent a little i suppose.